tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post5931388946852094299..comments2024-03-27T03:25:08.267-07:00Comments on Life in the Shoe: Ask Aunt Dorcas--A Discovery, and A Mennonite Girl's FearsDorcashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-49096923485839100022021-01-03T09:48:05.158-08:002021-01-03T09:48:05.158-08:00I’m so grateful that you discussed all of this. E...I’m so grateful that you discussed all of this. Even though I now dress “hoch” I still identify and anyone who knows me better would see me in some ways as Mennonite, with some of the same weaknesses (and yet new experiences to change some things).<br /><br />It wasn’t till the last year that my desire to express my individuality with my clothes sometimes sometimes took a back seat to wanting to blend in. For me that meant blue jeans and a neutral, solid sweater. For some people it means wearing black. That can be used for privacy or to not stand out when traveling in a new area.<br /><br />I also read The Gift of Fear and learned a lot. The other thing I did was take a self-defense course for women. I’d still like to do more with that. It was only a couple hours but we got on the mats and that really helped me feel more confident. The name of this secular non-profit is The Warrior Forged Project. Both the book and the self-defense training somehow had elements of fear that needed to be processed or shaken off, but I don’t really see other resources taking their place.<br /><br />Thank you so very much for writing about this. It’s a significant shock to many of us to hear these stories, if we experienced being plain as being safe. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-25526372543458204022020-12-08T22:25:07.695-08:002020-12-08T22:25:07.695-08:00Thanks for sharing. I admire your clearheaded cour...Thanks for sharing. I admire your clearheaded courage in standing there and praying out loud when the dog threatened you.<br />I think we are to obey and trust, and God can decide what He does with that.<br />He protects and keeps in different ways at different times.Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-75992365597148904222020-12-08T22:21:34.730-08:002020-12-08T22:21:34.730-08:00Thanks for providing clarity about "trafficki...Thanks for providing clarity about "trafficking." Painful stuff to find out, but it can help inform our response.Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-17935206510230244242020-12-08T22:19:13.881-08:002020-12-08T22:19:13.881-08:00Thanks for hearing me.Thanks for hearing me.Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-48652135867396183382020-12-08T16:31:02.297-08:002020-12-08T16:31:02.297-08:00This response starts out with a bunny trail. Years...This response starts out with a bunny trail. Years ago I was frightened by a dog. As I was walking to the post office in our small town, a dog suddenly appeared and barked at me and lunged threateningly toward me. I was terrified and didn’t know what to do. I knew, however, I should not turn my back to him. So I stood there and prayed out loud for protection, not yelling out loud, but in a conversational tone loudly enough that the dog could hear me. Soon two men from the neighborhood heard the commotion and came to my rescue. That dog instantly calmed down. When I retraced my steps in a few minutes, the one man told me that he knows that dog; that is not how Tuk usually acts. The other man asked me if I was OK. I assured him I was OK and that the dog never touched me. I also told the man that he was an answer to my prayer.<br /><br />The incident was troubling to me, yet reassuring. The Lord protected me from physical harm. I don’t believe I suffered any lasting harm from the emotional trauma, either.<br /><br />Thank you for your advice, Dorcas. I don’t know what I would do if threatened by a man with evil intentions. Perhaps if I was where I could not escape his presence I would pray or sing so that he could hear me. Or I might remind the aggressor that he is tampering with God’s property. I have read about officers with evil intentions who interrupted a church service. As long as the congregants kept singing, the intruders were helpless to harm them.<br /><br />In some situations, a “Big Mama” stance might be helpful: spreading out, taking up space. This could be with hands on your hips, one foot in front of the other, or gesturing as if to push him away. These gestures can give a bit of an aura of control, and might buy enough time for a rescue or escape, or they might even dissuade him from pursuing the attack.<br /><br />I believe we do have a measure of protection by dressing modestly and wearing a prayer veiling. On a number of occasions I have walked without fear by myself into a prison to visit a family member. Being aware of that layer of protection doesn’t give us an excuse, however, to take chances with or give any encouragement to ungodly men who inappropriately seek our attention. LRMLRMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308419680931353937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-15914538220544657292020-12-08T10:52:14.003-08:002020-12-08T10:52:14.003-08:00I love your response. I especially love what Phoeb...I love your response. I especially love what Phoebe says, that assaults are caused by the presence of an assailant. <br /><br />The term "trafficking" is confusing because we hear these HUGE numbers and we think that there is a national epidemic of girls being snatched off the streets. This is still very rare. Less than 1% of those who disappear are abducted by strangers (source: The Polly Klaas foundation.) Most of those who are abducted are taken by family members, usually non-custodial parents. The vast majority are runaways. <br /><br />But trafficking just means any time a person is forced into labor or sexual activity. A victim of trafficking doesn't even have to leave home. Victims are often trafficked by people they love and trust, often romantic partners. <br /><br />Rescuing victims of trafficking is both very important and very complicated. Being aware of surroundings and learning self-defense is a good idea for everyone. Having self confidence and the ability to say NO is vital in avoiding the kind of relationships that can lead to trafficking. <br /><br />Also- if you buy or sell on Craigslist, please just tell the person you are doing business with to meet you at the police station. Most stations have parking spots set aside for these transactions now. tarynkayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15944269033719646257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-55016155465118413782020-12-07T13:33:42.866-08:002020-12-07T13:33:42.866-08:00Thank you, thank you for writing this. May many pe...Thank you, thank you for writing this. May many people take it to heart and share it far and wide.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-26003425383853728292020-12-06T18:14:16.225-08:002020-12-06T18:14:16.225-08:00Good suggestions, and my stars. 30-40 girls rescue...Good suggestions, and my stars. 30-40 girls rescued every month!Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-67390399475329934752020-12-06T18:11:57.723-08:002020-12-06T18:11:57.723-08:00Good stuff here. I know that I learned to deny wha...Good stuff here. I know that I learned to deny what I saw and felt because it somehow wasn't spiritual. It's hard to unlearn that, but truly the truth sets us free.<br />I like what you said about paying attention to our fear and what it's telling us.Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-23716661931193871512020-12-06T18:07:50.607-08:002020-12-06T18:07:50.607-08:00Good tips, and you are a courageous woman.Good tips, and you are a courageous woman.Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-3101754273703100682020-12-06T18:06:36.105-08:002020-12-06T18:06:36.105-08:00Smart idea!Smart idea!Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-69621942702638558262020-12-06T18:06:11.447-08:002020-12-06T18:06:11.447-08:00LOL!LOL!Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-43121754031220974682020-12-06T18:05:58.180-08:002020-12-06T18:05:58.180-08:00Good idea, and thanks.Good idea, and thanks.Dorcashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07050605764466835485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-18645980613414289232020-12-06T13:06:23.127-08:002020-12-06T13:06:23.127-08:00My Dad taught us to go for the eyes and the groin....My Dad taught us to go for the eyes and the groin. Since we drove as teens he also taught us that if someone got into our vehicle to drive straight into a light pole or tree. Our oldest daughter was constantly asked for her phone number when she worked the drive thru at BK as a teen and she gave Dad's cell phone number. We have to teach our girls to not be nice in a dangerous situation! Trafficking is a huge problem here soon me we are 3 hours up a major interstate from Atlanta. Citizens are encouraged to take classes so that we can recognize it and call the police. At least once a month 30-40 girls are rescued in our area. Lanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09380649410508372279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-3865321218263673992020-12-06T12:48:51.108-08:002020-12-06T12:48:51.108-08:00I recommend the book, "The Gift of Fear,"...I recommend the book, "The Gift of Fear," by Gavin De Becker(but probably not to a 15 year old). As the title suggests, the author believes that true fear is a gift from our subconscious, warning us that something is wrong. We need to pay attention to it and see why it is signalling us. In some cases, we will see that it was mistaken and so we go on without fear. In other cases, it alerts us to true danger and we can find safety. But don't ignore it. <br />Also, don't live in anxiety. Anxiety comes when we try to deny that there is danger. There is danger. It's ok to be afraid fo dangerous things. This is a gift to keep us safe. Anxiety keeps us from being relaxed and noticing what is going on around us. It muffles the fear signals. <br />It was very good for me, a Menno born and raised, to hear this. I realized how often I ignored my surroundings and my fear in an attempt to be more holy (because fear is sin after all! Right? Right?!?!?) But meanwhile I lived with a lot of anxiety. (Also sin! Tsk, tsk.)<br /><br />He also tells people to listen to their intuition. In one case this might mean talking to the perpetrator, in another screaming, in another attempting to escape, etc.<br /><br />And he spends a lot of time debunking the myth that there is no way we could know that acts of violence were about to happen. Usually there are signs. It's up to us to pay attention. <br /><br />It also makes me think of a story I read about a gal who had just gone through some non-violence training who ended up talking an assailant out of his plan and helping him find help. I think sometimes we underestimate the power of our words and our spiritual life. <br />I would love to see a list of resources (books, articles, trainings etc) for people who want to know more. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13837409194019369719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-66280981718574351602020-12-06T09:20:13.238-08:002020-12-06T09:20:13.238-08:00When I was driving truck, I used to have a pry bar...When I was driving truck, I used to have a pry bar in my truck down on the floor by the driver's seat. Plus my trainer taught me to carry my truck key in my fist with the key pointing out between my fingers in case I ever needed a weapon. I always checked my sleeper berth whenever I got in my truck, just in case. You should always check the back of whatever vehicle you're driving before you get in. Plus if you ever break down you want to ask a truck driver for help. They're usually more willing to help. Although try to get the biggest and scariest one because they're probably the nicest. That's just what I learned, as a woman in my early 30's, out on the road going to Chicago and other major cities by myself in my truck. I hope this helps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-31478687894524400682020-12-06T07:06:37.749-08:002020-12-06T07:06:37.749-08:00I have a small canister of mace attached to my key...I have a small canister of mace attached to my keyring. I go to work at 4am and have to walk across the parking lot. I position the mace in my hand ready to use as I walk.Sherry Phillipsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-13012673978804299762020-12-06T07:02:30.755-08:002020-12-06T07:02:30.755-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Aunt Dorcushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06080081191685671815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-32997699092829596962020-12-06T06:52:22.597-08:002020-12-06T06:52:22.597-08:00My name is Dorcas too, by the way.My name is Dorcas too, by the way.Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11947660603440508406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-24825966305708192812020-12-06T06:50:10.059-08:002020-12-06T06:50:10.059-08:00Ooh I didn’t realize that a Dorcas was in a Beatri...Ooh I didn’t realize that a Dorcas was in a Beatrix Potter Book! My friends called me Porcas too, when I was in school. 😑😜😂 Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11947660603440508406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-6520798096834908852020-12-06T06:33:36.802-08:002020-12-06T06:33:36.802-08:00Beatrix Potter's Aunt Dorcas looks so solicito...Beatrix Potter's Aunt Dorcas looks so solicitous, like she just can't wait to towel off that little piglet, rescuing it from the more severe-looking Aunt Porcus...Judy Rothhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04925894904807031401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11022879.post-47647920678786422302020-12-06T03:53:59.001-08:002020-12-06T03:53:59.001-08:00Something really practical I learned when I was in...Something really practical I learned when I was in college was to get my keys out of my purse before leaving the building. No more endless digging in a deep purse in a dark parking lot.<br /><br />You handled this topic well. Thank you. Louisa Seapyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14763723852046361410noreply@blogger.com