Last night I got on the internet and read a headline about the New York governor involved in some scandal. I didn't read the article but I thought to myself--You just watch, there's going to be a picture of him with his loyal wife standing beside him.
Sure enough, in this morning's paper there's a big article expanding on this sorry tale, and there is the requisite picture of the governor with his staunch and supportive and miserable wife standing beside him.
This happened with Larry What's-His-Name from Idaho and countless other important men before him. The news breaks of some hideously embarrassing and disgusting personal behavior, and they dress up the wife and prop her up beside her husband for all the world to see and pity, and there she is with cameras flashing in her face when she obviously would rather be home in bed with the covers over her head, crying her eyes out.
I have no idea what the logic is behind this but I think it's cruel.
I am giving everyone notice here that if I ever, God forbid, find myself in this situation, I would be home with the doors locked and the covers over my head and a box of kleenex beside me and a phone in my hand, calling all my sympathetic sisters and friends, and my husband would be on his own.
Just so you know.
Quote of the Day:
"Neener neener, Mom, I have more comments on my post than you do on your quilt post!"
--Ben, regarding his essay I posted a few days ago. He finally understands my excitement about getting comments.
Amen, sister! I remember reading about a woman whose husband was in politics and then came out of the closet - then almost immediately forced his shattered wife to join him onstage as he announced it to the rest of the world. Her feelings were exactly echoed by yours. I think oftentimes these women are still too shellshocked to resist; give them another week and they'd be too dangerous to allow onto a stage with a microphone nearby!
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought those gals willingly joined their husbands.
ReplyDeleteSilly me. :)
Most of these wives that are propped up as "loyal" have either private or political careers of their own, and if not careers, then some sort of political or private sector aspirations. They recognize the responsibility that comes with the lifestyle they have chosen and to not even at least feign solidarity with their errant mates could mean political or social suicide. I am sure thier husbands will suffer the wrath of their spouses or soon to be ex-spouses at the appropriate time. Every tale hath two sides…
ReplyDeleteI SO AGREE!
ReplyDeleteI read that the reason these women "stand by their man" is that they have something to gain by it, or they wouldn't do it. I dunno. Gonna think about that one some.
I think justme is on the right track.
Amen Amen Amen!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletepoliticians just make so many other promises they can't keep, they figure what's a wedding vow? they don't care about anyone but themselves.
ReplyDeleteOh, amen. They certainly have a choice to do so, but I don't understand it. He didn't want her next to him when he was doing the dirty deed(s) so why now? These women should let them twist in the wind.
ReplyDeleteI saw her on TV at work and I could not keep my eyes off her.. I wish I could email her and tell her 'I care'. The thing about it is... I heard many commentaries on this event and one man said something to the effect.. 'that this is what men do' but the fact that he did it while in office.. blah, blah...
ReplyDeleteGAK!!! BARF!!
~I
You took the words right out of my mouth, Friend! In fact, I had virtually the same conversation with my husband last night in bed. ~ribbit98
ReplyDeleteIf she waits for 6 months before filing for a divorce she will get more from him then he wants to give. Ha she'll get him on that! Money that is.
ReplyDeleteI have wondered about this as well. I suspect that sometimes Mr. Errant says to Mrs. Falling Apart, I need you next to me in order to look good to my constituents, how about a purse full of money as a pay-back? By the time these relationships have dipped this low the keeping factor is often money, isn't it??
ReplyDeleteLoved your post!
ReplyDeleteA box of Kleenex, the phone ... and chocolate. You forgot the chocolate. ;-)
Evanna--Yes! Chocolate! Forgot to list that one. A pot of tea on the nightstand would be good too.
ReplyDeleteMr. Spitzer's acts are repulsive, but I choose not to judge Mrs. Spitzer's response. She is most certainly hurting and needs our prayers rather than our bashing. Ladies, but for the grace of God, this could be any of your husbands. Most of us have the advantage of not being in the public eye if it would happen to one of us. Even if no one else knows the situation, our response is known by God.
ReplyDeleteWe were on the same page with this one! www.literarygirl.wordpress.com
ReplyDeleteI know this comes from The New York Times, but it may be helpful anyway: "Close aides to the governor suggested on Tuesday that the mood in the Spitzer home was tense, with the governor’s wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, recommending that he not step down...."
ReplyDeleteYesterday, in thinking about this thread, I thought along these lines: "Maybe the governor's wife is practicing forgiveness and this is her way of turning the other cheek and returning good for evil." Frankly, I find that highly dubious, but it is an intriguing -- and perhaps even convicting -- thought.
I was thinking the same thing yesterday! I wonder how many of them are actually 'supporting' their husbands, or are they there because they 'have to'?
ReplyDeleteooooooooooo!!! I'm with you! It always makes me so furious when it happens and it seems it always does. Believe you me...if that was my husband (and I can't imagine that it ever would be, but if it WAS) I would be nowhere NEAR that dirty rat. He'd be on his own. (Wow, there are a lot of comments..are you ahead of Ben now?)heh
ReplyDeleteNote to Mark--As Jodi/literarygirl (comment before yours) said in her post, "There is forgiveness and there is public humiliation." I would feel obligated to the former but not the latter.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad they didn't make the kids stand up there, too. But for the grace of God, any one of that man's daughters could grow up to be some other governor's adulterous "date."
ReplyDeleteYou really don't know how you would react unless you were in that situation. Many years ago I was. Although we were not people in the public eye, we had friends and a community aware of what was happening. We are still together after many years, but the pain never quite goes away.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the previous comment. You think you know what you would do, but if you were actually in this spot you might surprise yourself with your response. Things always look different close up that far away.
ReplyDeleteThere is always a right thing to do even when others have done wrong. When something like this happens to you it is an intense internal personal struggle to do what is right. I don't think that we should be making judgmental statements about Mrs. Spitzer and her motives at this time. She, and her husband need our prayers.
ReplyDeleteHey! Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your awesome talk with our bible study group today! And let me tell you, I SO relate with the EVERY pregnancy has been miserable. The only difference is, I'm only on my second and last child, and you suffered through 5!! 5 woman!! Wow. Go you! :)
ReplyDeleteTo the anonymous..right before Jodi.
ReplyDeleteI think you deserve a piece of chocolate today.;) You seem to be having a hard day....
I dont think anyone on here has been bashing the wife. I think we all feel very sorry for her!
For a different focus and perspective: Too Cheap
ReplyDelete