Recently I was in a group of people--nice, respectable, Mennonite people--having a nice meal together, and the talk turned to politics, since we all know how we non-political Mennonites love to discuss politics.
All this was fine until suddenly an older gentleman started telling a joke, which was ok until he got to the punch line--"And then we put a n****r from Chicago in the White House and now everybody's looking for work."
People laughed, sort of. I did not. This is major for me, since I have deeply ingrained habits of laughing when people tell a joke, respecting my elders, and not being confrontational. But I couldn't laugh at that joke. I didn't say anything to the gentleman because I always freeze in situations like this and don't thaw out until two days later.
Later, several people in the group came back and apologized to me for laughing.
The episode made me realize several things:
1. We have been very very blessed, since we adopted Steven, with kindness and acceptance and careful choices of words. His color has been such a non-issue that I forget that "race" can be a very big deal.
2. In parts of the country the n-word was for many years a generic term for black people, the same as you called white people white and Mexicans Mexicans, and it's only recently that it became something respectable people don't say. So if an older person uses the term in passing, I can give them grace for that. But to use it in a joke about the President--I don't think so.
3. It is very healing when people come back and apologize. The person who told the joke has not apologized. But I wrote him a letter after my brain thawed. Yes I did.
I must say that I audibly sighed with relief when I read
ReplyDelete"But I wrote him a letter after my brain thawed. Yes I did."
It needed to be done.
You did not laugh. That's tell all. With all the respect for the Elder.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dorca
Pierre
Good for you. Nice courage.
ReplyDeletethank you for not laughing. I have found myself in similar uncomfortable situations in the past year. I find President jokes awkward period. No matter which President it is. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI have also heard that joke and it was from a "Christian" in one of the southern states. With my big mouth, I couldn't keep quiet with that one, I told him to his face that what he said was offensive and flew in the face of what we believed as Christians.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I was in the minority in that "discussion" and got roundly criticized for being to stiff, I needed to loosen up a bit.
If that is the reason I need to loosen up, then God help me to be as stiff as a board and follow the example of our Lord Jesus Christ and love ALL men as equals!!
Yes, things look different when you are the parent of children of a different race. Good for you for not laughing and then following up with a letter. Just being a good mennonite does not excuse racisim.
ReplyDeleteWe've lived overseas for three years and recently returned to Midwestern USA for several months. I've been surprised by how much discrimination I've seen since I'm back in the American culture as a whole. Clerks that are friendly to the white customers were much more cold to an Asian customer who came in.
ReplyDeleteWhile this kind of discrimination is understandable in the general culture, there's no excuse for it in a follower of Christ.
I had a reaction just like this when I once heard someone from the pulpit caricature people with learning disabilities as being ridiculous for not taking proper responsibility for their problems. I sat there and cried while other people chuckled. One of my friends walked out in tears. She has children with learning problems. After I got home, I wrote a letter.. . I have never doubted that it was the right thing to do. We can't fix everything, but we can be a voice when a voice is needed.
ReplyDeleteThank you
ReplyDeleteWe have three white and six black grandchildren. The only difference the color makes to us is that it helps people identify whose children are whose when we take a family picture.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you did what you did, but it makes me sad when we as Christians talk that way.
ReplyDeleteThat's good, Dorcas. I've never given much thought to Steven's skin color either; I'm glad you adopted him and I'm glad to have him in church.
ReplyDeleteThe Baritone
That would've made me ANGRY. I tend to spew something out right away, which is more harmful. Glad you wrote the letter.
ReplyDeleteWhere I grew up there were lots of black people. Some were Negroes and some were niggers, the difference being in how they acted, lived, etc. The respectable black people were NOT called niggers. Those who stole, lied, cheated, etc. were. (And there were some white niggers, too.) If the joke-teller is used to this kind of terminology, he did use the right term,even tho it wasn't respectful.
ReplyDeleteAnon: Isn't the core problem with the use of the word the lack of respect?
ReplyDeleteYou handled this situation with grace and respect by not joining in the laughter and by confronting the older gentleman in private by your letter.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Aimee
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president. ~Theodore Roosevelt
ReplyDeleteWhatever we think of the President's policies, we are to honor his position. "Fear God, honor the king."
ReplyDeleteI cringe every time when I hear people make dishonoring remarks about any president including Clinton jokes. King David was immoral and murdered for a cover up.
ReplyDeleteThe current president was handed a platter full of more complicated issues than any one president can solve. Christians who are CO'S are given the freedom to live in USA and we need to be especially careful what we say about politics, instead be grateful for the government that we have.
joy eversole
It's so easy to be angry about racism and disrespect to authority. Much harder to be without racism or prejudice in our own hearts! May this call us to examine our own heart motives and lack of love for other human beings.
ReplyDeleteThank You for sending him a letter. Where does honoring the king and praying for our leaders come in? If people would look up the n word in the dictionary they would know that it doesn't mean a person of a certain color but an evil person. I'm on your band wagon and I don't think I could have let this pass. Writing a letter was better than calling him to task in public. Good thinking.
ReplyDeleteWay to go!
ReplyDeleteThat joke is disgusting. I can't understand why people think it's ever funny to use race in any dishonoring way.
ReplyDeleteAs far as respecting and honoring leadership, I've always wondered about that. So, just out of curiosity, how far did God ask us to go in honoring our leaders? I know he said he places them where he wants them...but
I remember three who refused to bow down when it was the Law...they were thrown into a furnace. I remember one who broke the law openly by praying, and was fed to the lions. These are just a few who went against leadership and are held up as hero's in the Bible.
I remember MANY who did their best to break the law and save everyone they could from Hitler~ were those people wrong for disrespecting/dishonoring the leader God had chosen for them at that time?
I am so confused by the fact that God would place a bad leader over any nation (and there have been SO many over the last 2000 years!). Why??