I am always signing up for things because they need to be done or because I'm hungry for fellowship, then I get overwhelmed, and I think, "I don't think I prayed enough before I said yes." So then I pray more deliberately and still feel like I ought to say Yes to events and people, because I know I'll regret it later if I don't. Maybe God knows I'd never get anything done if I didn't feel overwhelmed.
So I didn't have time for that Smucker-Sisters-In-Law coffee time today, what with planning for a ladies' retreat, a trip to the coast, a girls' trip while Amy's home, and Ben's graduation open house. But what a delicious time of chatting and catching up and planning it was with the Smucker ladies, as always, and I would have been sad if I missed it.
Sometimes I wonder what scale of life would be manageable. Maybe living alone in a 1-bedroom house with 1 cat. Two flower beds. A bike. No writing or teaching. Meeting people for coffee once a week. Living off of tea and Cheerios and fresh berries and peanut butter.
I think I could manage such a life efficiently, and feel organized and PUT TOGETHER which would be glorious. And I could also feel terrifically bored and lonely and pointless.
On Sunday we had a college friend of Emily's here for lunch even though I was as overwhelmed and overcommitted as always and so exhausted I kept falling asleep during Paul's sermon which I almost never do. The friend is from Korea. Before he left, Emily showed him the newest kitties in the banana box on the porch. He was thrilled.
Later I learned that this was the first time in his life that he had held a baby kitten. It was almost a spiritual experience for him.
Well. If I had waited to have company until I felt ready and the hedge was trimmed, JB from Korea might have gone his whole life without holding a 3-week-old kitten.
I averted a great tragedy.
Wow. What I keep hearing from your blog posts recently is GIVE. Whether I'm feeling overwhelmed, tired, depressed ... whatever the reason/excuse, God wants me to open myself and give. He wants to use those weak moments to show His blessing in unexpected ways to others. Thanks for being a mouthpiece to me for God in this way. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, God uses our imperfect "overwhelmedness" in ways we would never expect. What joy! I can well relate to what you wrote. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI GET this; although I'm still trying to learn this lesson of KEEP ON GIVING.
ReplyDeleteAnd I bet JB from Korea got a whole lot more from the time with your family than holding the kitten, notable though that was. Bless you as you continue to learn how to offer up youself as a Living Sacrifice....Sarah
Sometimes I do the same thing... Eagerly agreeing to help whenever asked because we know "it's better to give than to receive." But then feeling overwhelmed and drained in the middle of it all. But yes, happy and blessed in the end! If we could just figure out how to prevent that too-stressed feeling when we least need it. And NO ONE should have to go through life without ever holding a sweet little kitten - a serious tragedy averted. Love reading your thoughts - thanks for sharing~
ReplyDeleteI just read this and thought you'd like the tie-ins. :) Here's to imperfect hosting.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mnn.com/your-home/at-home/blogs/in-priase-scruffy-hospitality
Life would be pointless, and I'd be bored. Amen to that! Funny how I spend so much effort bemoaning how busy I am, then as soon as I'm not busy, frantically look for ways to fill up that space.
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