What I Did This Summer: Hosting

My mom used to have nightmares about company coming. We called them her “gonzy loht psooch” dreams. A “whole load of company,”  translated from PA German. She never taught me how to host without panicking, so I inherited her nervousness.

Here are some things I’ve learned via trial, error, and observation about hosting.

1.       It is an honor to host people in your home. It is service and sacrifice, in some ways, but the best kind. Giving your guest a cup of tea or seeing a young person in a lawn chair watching the fire reflectively—something special is happening here. You get to make them feel valued and welcome.

2.       If you and/or your life and/or your house tend to be chaotic and messy, you can still have people over. You just have to keep the main areas maintained and give the bathroom a wipedown. You can even do a stash-and-dash, shutting the door to the office and pretending the living room is always this clean. Don’t apologize for how the house looks, or for the cobwebs. In summer, sit outside.

3.       So much of hosting is context. I was a lot more relaxed about hosting when we lived on a reservation in the Canadian bush and had a tiny house and few ingredients and a wimpy two-burner stove. I knew the guests’ expectations were low.

4.       You need only a few go-to menus. Learn to make a few things well, keep ingredients on hand, and make those foods. For me it's hamburgers and potato salad and homemade ice cream in the summer. Cheeseburger soup and bread in winter. Chicken and rice for Sunday dinners.

5.       Potlucks are blessings from God. A couple of times this summer I said, “I don’t want to do the cooking for this crowd, so bring food, even if it’s a box of donuts from a gas station.” No one seemed to mind. It all coordinated wonderfully.

6.       Planning ahead is crucial for me, especially if I’m recruiting help. Family members don’t like to be guilted into helping an overwhelmed hostess at the last minute when they had other plans.

7.       It’s ok if your house isn’t the cool house where everyone comes and hangs out and makes quesadillas. I guess. That’s what I tell myself, at least, even though I’m a bit jealous. What is their magic? What is the less-obvious magic you have to offer?

8.       Some guests just put you at ease and aren’t awkward about finding the coffeemaker and brewing their own coffee in the morning if they get up early. God bless those guests.
9. I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time, so I simply cannot get food ready and carry on a coherent conversation with guests. So I ask other family members to take one role while I do the other.
10. Weed out the fridge before you host a potluck. Otherwise you'll have three guests standing in the kitchen with salads in hand--"Can this go in the fridge? It's still so hot outside."-- while you dig Tupperwares of last week's leftovers out of the fridge to make room.

11.       My friend Rachel used to say that her mother used to say, “If there’s room in the heart, there’s room in the home.”

Here are some of the guests we had this summer and the events we hosted:

1.       Chad and Jenny Graber were Amy’s team leaders in Thailand. It was delightful to have them and their lively boys here.

Paul got attacked by a shark.

The boys helped Emily bake a cake.

Jenny and Chad

2.       Gary Quequish was the pastor of the church in the reservation in Northern Ontario where we lived for three years. It was super-special to have him and his wife Chris come to Oregon. Gary is still one of the best storytellers I’ve ever heard.

3.       Paul’s Aunt Nadine came from New Jersey, so we had to have a Smucker gathering. I hosted a potluck in the front yard.

Nadine is in the center, in glasses.

4.       One Sunday I had my Sunday School class here for dinner.

5.       We hosted another potluck in August, this time for all the Mennonite writers we could rustle up. We came from all kinds of places and had all levels of experience, but had a wonderful evening together.

6.        We had the youth over and roasted hot dogs.

I'd love to hear your hosting tips.