Tuesday, September 25, 2007

MN Musings--5--Moving On

I spent three days with my parents at Grove City after the retreat. It was the first time I had been back since my nephew's funeral in July '06. A lot of people have asked me how my parents are doing and if they've aged since I saw them last.

No, they haven't aged since I saw them last. In fact, we are all doing much better than the last time we saw each other, since the week of the funeral we were all stumbling around in a daze and just barely on this side of functional. Mom and Anna (Lenny's mom) drifted around like little silent ghosts, none of us were eating or sleeping--aacckk, I don't even like to think about how we all were.

When I talk to Marcus and Anna on the phone they talk about how the pain is as deep and sharp as ever, the questions as looming and answer-less. So it was so nice to actually see them in person and realize how far they've come. Anna took me out to the memory garden and chatted happily about who gave this ornament or that plant, and how she planned for which flowers to bloom in which season. Marcus had a bit more light in his eyes and chuckled about how smug Anna was when she took two of her delicious cake rolls to a neighborhood supper and was the star of the evening.

I went to the cemetery and saw the gravestone for the first time. And shed a bunch of healing tears. And left a bouquet of fall leaves I had gathered at Mom and Dad's.

Sometimes it doesn't seem right that life moves on, but what a mercy that it does.


  1. Yes, it is a mercy though some hurts just never heal. I lost a cousin to suicide & years later the hurt & anger still surfaces, the questions remain unanswered, & it changes the family dynamics in unexpected ways. How much I never realised until I lost my youngest brother to a fying accident last year. We are much diminished by the lose of each one of us from the family circle. It is good to know everyone is doing better.

  2. Death is inevitable but whe it strikes a young person, that goes against the natural order of things. When my brother died last December unexpectedly, it hit my folks pretty hard. Pop looks like he's aged 10 years this last year! But...life does indeed go on.