My Rant for Today

What is it with magazine writers and food? Sometimes I wonder what planet these people live on. Do they have no metabolism at all, or maybe they’re sadistic 400-pounders determined to make normal people feel guilty for eating food.

I started reading the latest Readers Digest today, that magazine that has descended from its excellent, incisive articles of 40 years ago to bite-size fluff today. But I still read it, so never mind that. Anyway, on page 51 is the obligatory article on How to Not Overindulge This Holiday Season and Get Grossly Overweight.

So to quote from RD: ‘You’re working, taking care of the house, shopping, cooking, dealing with the kids and relatives. You need more energy, and you need food on the fly. You consider a Grande Espresso Frappuccino and a slice of pizza."

So far so good.

It goes on, telling you that’s a very wicked idea. You need to limit caffeine (ok, I can see that, but not real well). And then: "Try filling sandwich bags with green and red pepper strips, carrot slices, celery sticks, or a whole-grain bagel or crackers with hummus, nonfat cream cheese, or jam."

I’m lost here. How on earth am I supposed to finish my shopping and everything else without fainting, on that kind of fuel? Even the pizza and espresso wouldn’t be enough for me, I'm afraid. Throw in a thick bowl of broccoli cheese soup if I’m at Safeway, or even something juicy that used to moo, from Burger King, and I might make it.

Then there’s the part about food at parties. "Never arrive hungry." "If you’re ravenous, it’s even harder to control yourself at the buffet." "Before you eat anything, get a drink of seltzer, water, or juice." "Decide which few things you’ll try, and have one or two bites of each."

Ok, here I’m so lost you need to send Search&Rescue after me. It’s like it’s some kind of moral flaw to be hungry and/or to eat food. I always operate on the premise that if you work hard and/or don’t eat for a while, you get hungry (or even ravenous), which is as things ought to be, and then you eat some food, and then you aren't hungry any more, and it is good for your body to do this. And if you go to a place where there is lots of good food that people want you to eat, so much the better.

Naturally, these magazine writers say you’re supposed to eat a salad or a whole-grain bagel before you ever leave home, so you’re not hungry for the good stuff at the party. Oh please. I'll bet they have a bowl of nachos and a plate of brownies beside the computer to nibble on while they type this stuff.

Here’s my advice for this Holiday Season: Get hungry. Eat food. Quit when you’re full. Give hearty thanks. Make sure you eat some of my SIL Bonnie's fudge; it's the best in the world.

Quote of the Day:
"candy
bobble gum
stuffte animal
radio like mom's purple one
toy bow and arrow's
candy bar
camera? hahaha
sling shot"
--Steven's Christmas list. Here's one he wrote over two years ago.