Lists

When my fine daughter Emily doesn't know what to post about, she posts lists. Such as a list of things she's had a crush on in her dreams, which included a clothespin.

I have not been posting because my article isn't done for July and so I feel guilty writing anything else. But surely writing a list or two isn't really posting, is it?

Things I feel guilty about:
1. Posting when I don't have my column done.
2. When people buy my book and I'm afraid they can't afford it.
3. When it's "family night" at church and our family doesn't contribute anything.
4. Buying fabric.
5. Making hot dogs for supper.
6. Forgetting birthdays.
7. Not contributing to Food for Lane County at the checkout.
8. When I avoid people at church because I don't want to talk about what they always want to talk about.
9. Matt's hair.
10. When I get tired of Emily talking.
11. Cobwebs.
12. That I forgot Ben's birthday last year because my sister was here.
13. When I'm late sending out Christmas cards.
14. Going to church in a dirty vehicle.
15. Not liking a book my sister recommended.
16. That I punished Emily for not listening to me when she was 4 years old and it turned out she had fluid in her ears and could hardly hear.
17. Ongoing Ministers Wife issues
18. When I don't use up the fresh mushrooms before they go bad.

Entertaining items on Craigslist:
1. "A Picture of a Deer Running on a Cloth." (Ooooo, hope it's not Grandma's linen tablecloth. Ah! It's one of those old tapestries from the 70s. With a picture on it of a deer leaping over a log.)
2. "frabic rounds..stuff to make blanket or ???? free bag of fabric rounds and small doilee thing a ma bobers. wife started to make a blanket and no longer has time . please put to good use or we will just throw it away. we are off mohawk blvd. in springtuckey."

Things I am thinking about working into my column, all with a theme of "change."--
1. Picking strawberries
2. Steven outgrowing his t-shirts
3. Hansie getting old and tired
4. My body mass slowly melting southward
5. email

People who intimidate me:
1. In-laws.
2. People who tell me what to do.
3. Hyper-spiritual people who evidently were not born with sinful natures like I was
4. Moms whose children were born without sinful natures.
5. Real writers.

Reasons I am very blessed:
1. I am 46 years old today. A lot of people never get the chance to live this long.
2. My family remembered the day with flowers, Baskin-Robbins gift cards, money for fancy coffee, and other cool stuff.
3. The predicted hailstorm this evening passed us and the ripened fields by.
4. I can read.
5. My family makes me laugh.

Reasons I worry about our marriage:
1. Paul and I don't laugh at the same things like all the books say you should.
2. He missed half an acre of bristles under his nose this morning and I made him turn the car around and go home and re-shave.
3. Things about Paul bother me that didn't bother me when I was 25. Like the way he opens doors and walks through, only he YANKS them open and CHARGES through. What will it be like in 20 years?
4. Some days I wouldn't want to be married to me for anything and I wonder how Paul can stand it.
5. I don't mind when he goes on a trip.

Quote of the Day:
"Having a few issues with submission, are we, Mom?"
--Matt, on occasions like the re-shaving episode