Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Thoughts on Rest and Marriage and Time

Right after I posted Sunday's tale of my frantic day, it seemed that I kept running across articles on how our society glorifies busy, and how we choose to be busy, and so on.


Monday turned out to be a day of rest.  Steven went to work early and the others slept in, and I happily let them, for the sake of the quiet that resulted.

Dad was up at his normal time, and if you wonder what that is, I will tell you that the other morning he marched into the kitchen at 8:10 and announced, "Ach, ich hap mich veesht fa-schlofa!" which is to say, "I overslept badly."

But after he had his oatmeal he kept himself occupied.

I decided that this is what "Rest" looks like for me:
1. Quiet.
2. Not having to answer questions.
3. Being able to plan and make lists.
4. Being able to think/write/pray/meditate/concentrate.
5. Staying home.
6. Not having to fix other people's disasters or take on their projects.

There are others in the household for whom "rest" looks very different.  But we all need it, and I think the purpose of the Sabbath command was to make it intentional.

So, as I said, Monday turned out to be restful, at least for a couple of hours, which was a very kind gift from the Father, and "so refreshing," as the Bingley sister says in Pride and Prejudice.

And the remainder of this week, starting tomorrow, promises to be a rest of a different sort, as Paul and I plan to take off to celebrate our 30th anniversary.

Yes, on August 10th it will be 30 years since we said our vows at Brownsville Church on a hot evening.  And in this busy time of year, Paul is taking me up to a cabiny place on Puget Sound, which shows that he is still a very nice guy who invests in his marriage and makes me feel astonishingly valued.

My parents would have celebrated their 60th anniversary this year, which means they were married 30 years when they came out for our wedding.  At the time, I thought they were old and out of touch, devoid of romance, stuck in dreadful sequestered isolated lives.

I don't think they saw themselves that way, which makes one wonder about the hidden dynamics of a settled life and a 30-year-old marriage that young people never see.

Mom saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time on that trip, and announced that she's going to get her feet wet in it, so there on the beach she stripped off her black stockings and waded in, laughing, and I was so proud of her, in the sense of Oh look at this adventurous old lady, but really she was just Mom being Mom.

Paul and I are both taking our laptops and piles of paper on this trip, because that is actually one aspect of "rest" for both of us, to spread out our work in a motel room and feel like we're getting caught up.

To each, their own.

I hope to walk the beach and pray about my busy life and how to rearrange it, and about trusting God for his timing and distributing of things I can't control such as church responsibilities and Paul's work load and having lots of single adults at home who haven't yet found someone to say their vows to on a hot August evening.  Stuff like that.

This stage will not last forever and it might even be over very quickly, and when the dust settles I want Paul and I to still enjoy each other's company.

 So, off to Port Townsend we go.


  1. Happy anniversary and have a wonderful (restful!) time!

  2. Clista I McPherson8/05/2014 9:27 PM

    Another interesting point of view.

  3. Happy Anniversary!! Times of going away overnight as a couple, at this stage in life are a great big treat!! Enjoy yourselves, and make good memories!

  4. Happy anniversary to you! Nick and I are celebrating 10 years on the 14th. We get to go on a 2-week trip in September. It will be the first time we've gotten away without our kids in FIVE YEARS....

    And I totally know what you mean about working to rest. I am that way, too. I love to work!

  5. I love your quote: "I think the purpose of the Sabbath command was to make it intentional." I took a year-long Bible course, Disciples. It was a very interesting study of the Old and New Testament based on themes. Really made you think in new ways. At the end of the year the facilitator asked us what were the most important things we had learned that year. One of my responses was the importance of resting on the Sabbath. Your body needs it and your spirit has the quiet and the time to reconnect with your body. The rest of the week, there is no time to do that.

  6. So glad I stopped to read this post! Just got back from a "cabiny place" up in Washington with my husband of 28yrs (next month) - still a nice guy who treats me like a treasure and willingly comes along wherever my wandering heart thinks would be fun to go next. We're having a lot of the same thoughts and realizations about life at the second half...feeling the same but realizing WE are those old folks now to our kids, grandkids, the clerk in the store etc. Actually its kind of fun to have secrets they don't have any idea about, isn't it, haha! Hope your trip is very restful. Thanks for sharing your heart, your prayers and your life. (ps my birthday is Aug.10th - I'll be 50!) Enjoy!

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