Saturday, September 06, 2008

The Bargain Genes

Today Jenny and I went garage saling. I've hit a few sales here and there all summer but never really "went saling." Anyway, today was the day, probably the last one for the season.

Now there's nothing like the prospect of a good bargain to make all my Yoder genes come to the fore. Honestly, we were about the most frugal, bargain-hungry family I've ever met. [Well, I guess the Miller genes played a part too, with Aunt Vina roaring off to the garage sales in Iowa City "before the hoarders get there!"]

So Jenny and I went to a huge sale at the Assembly of God church and debated about that pink fuzzy hat for Jenny and that towel rack for me, and then I heard the lady in charge announce that at 2:00 you can have anything you can stuff into a bag for $2.00.

Well. Were we going to pay $2 for a hat when we could get the hat plus a sackful of other things for the same price an hour and a half later? We were not.

So we left and hit a few more sales and bought groceries and then stopped by the road and organized all our purchases and picked up the granola bar wrapper and old church bulletins in the car, just to kill those last ten minutes.

And then we went back and gleefully stuffed three plastic grocery bags with candles, girly stuff, flannel fabric, a purse, jeans for Steven, and books. Sadly, the pink hat was gone, but Jenny was still very happy with her loot.

And suddenly I had this exquisite, sharp memory that made me laugh. My sister Margaret is, believe it or not, far more of a determined bargain hunter than I am, to the extent that she used to keep an old-lady coat and scarf in the car and put them on to disguise herself when she went dumpster-diving.

The Catholic church in Litchfield, Minnesota, had a big rummage sale every year, and on the last day you could fill a paper sack for a dollar. Mom and Margaret used to go and have the time of their lives and believe me, no one can stuff as much into a bag as those two.

Well, one time Margaret had a stuffed bag and was determined to get one more item in there if it was the last thing she did. So she quietly carried her bag behind one of the tables at the back, right by the wall, and then carefully set it on the floor. Then she steadied herself on the table and put her feet in the top of the bag and stood on its contents and gently bounced to flatten them down further. Suddenly she was startled by an old man who was leaning over the table leering at her with great amusement and saying, "Can I help you with that?"

For once Margaret didn't know what to say. I don't remember quite how she handled the situation but I do know that hearing her tell about it afterwards made me laugh to tears.

And I laughed about it again today even though it's been 20-some years. And I did not step on my bags to flatten them down further.

Quote of the Day:
Bible PACE: "How can we be certain there will actually be people such as Jesus described in the Beatitudes?"
Emily: Dad, I don't understand this question.
Paul: Well, you know the Beatitudes--'Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly. . ."

8 comments:

  1. nothing like good bargains (Cheap ones) to make a yoder happy=) Those genes did not skip me either You should come to lancsta conty and yard sale with me it can be a real menno cultral experience Amish ladies hollering out to each other IN dutch from across the street and mennos everywhere It would be good fodder for a menno observations article I'm sure!

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  2. Those genes make you do funny things. I know a "lady" who was deep in the dumpster when she heard a vehicle drive up and stop. She stayed ducked down, but the vehicle stayed too. When she finally peeped over the edge, she looked into the eyes of her next door neighbor who knew full well what she was doing. He has never let her forget it! --coleensr

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  3. On Beatittudes: I read that to my dh, not a Bible scholar, and he didn't get it...I had to explain it to him.

    On frugality: My best friend's mom is a great bargain hunter. She can feed a crowd for a few dollars. You two are cut out of the same cloth.

    Personally, I hate shopping. My hoarding genes are dormant...but waken easily if I get into those garage sales, then I have a bunch of STUFF I never get around to using.... My grandma called it the "peasant french" gene...that need to throw nothing away.

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  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you for not saying "garage sailing". It drives me batty. :-D

    As I was reading your story, I was silently urging you to hide the pink hat under some other things to try to ensure its survival until you got back.

    One time on Black Friday after standing in line since midnight the night before, I was at a Staples and had procured some limited quantity items. However, the checkout lines were absurdly long and I wanted to quickly procure other limited quantity items at other stores. So I went back to the deserted office furniture section and hid the stuff in some desk drawers. Hours later I came back at my leisure to retrieve the items and check out. It was much better for all involved! :-D

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  5. 9/7/08
    Just enjoyed your blackberry/Jenny column in the R-G. You have such a wonder way of seeing those "big picture" connections and then writing about them.
    Thank you.

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  6. My husband and I had the best ribs we've ever eaten in Litchfield, Minnesota!

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  7. oh yes, I think some of those genes are Miller. I used to tell people that my entire house comes from garage sales (except for the building itself). I can just hear "Aunt Vina" say that!!

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  8. I do hope your sister won't get to mad at ya for posting that!! But it was really funny!!! flowergirl_5

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