My sister Rebecca and I are very much alike in some ways but very different in others. For instance, in the Meyers-Briggs personality profile she is all--I forget the letters but it means deliberate, planning, organized, and goal-oriented. I on the other hand am all TTFN or whatever it is that means sort of spacey and loose and chaotic.
Rebecca reads books and plans ahead and makes deliberate choices about how to handle her life. It's important to her to do it right, friendship, parenting, health, ministry, everything. When she comes to visit she makes sure she asks me specific questions about what's going on in my life, and she does the same for each of my children. When you're with Rebecca you know you will be wading in some deeper waters than you do with most people. Which is wonderful, because not too many people take the time to dig into my heart and listen to what's really going on there.
Incidentally, Paul's sister Rosie is a lot like that. I never knew anyone who studied parenting beforehand like she did. Marriage too. She is very deliberate about everything, and chooses carefully and knows why she does what she does.
I have tried being that way. I've tried reading the books and planning ahead and getting it right. Relationships, spiritual life, marriage, and much more.
And I've discovered something alarming. Several things, in fact. First of all, I don't have the patience to get through the books. Second, I am terrible at planning and deliberation and choosing correctly. And third, most of the things I've done right in my life have been completely inadvertent.
The children's best memories, the best witnessing for Jesus, the most encouragement to others, the most joy to my husband---none of it was deliberate and intentional. It all happened while I was bumbling along, feeling my way through, doing something else. I am astonished at how many things have turned out right in my life, but I think it's safe to say they all happened accidentally.
Except it wasn't accidental, of course. I'm convinced God knows what he's working with here and he decided to pour out his love and amazing grace and divine sense of humor and use me in spite of myself to prove his point that it's all about him, and when we are weak, he is strong, and all that.
I think that's very cool.
Quote of the Day:
Jenny, [before bed]: I want a full, two-armed hug.
Me: Ha ha--a full two armed hug. Quote of the Day.
Jenny: NO. No you don't.
Me: Why not?
Jenny: Oh wait, how much will you pay me?
God is so amazing! You have no idea how much I needed to read your words right now, but He did. Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us!
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ReplyDeleteYour quote of the day was unfinished!! .. How much did you pay? :) Just kidding. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your posts. They are always so "real" and in today's world, that is really hard to find.
"Gifting" has something to do with this, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteSeems most of us either want all the gifts, or try to devalue those of others to try and prop ourselves up.
It is my inherent nature to quickly judge others by my strengths... and yet to resent it when my weaknesses are compared to their strengths.
This is implied in Galatians:
'If I raise up again any standard of performance which I used to use to justify myself (after having Christ tear my feable attempts at performance down and show me His gift of righteousness), then I am an even bigger hypocrite.' (2:18)
And I am EXTREMELY blessed to be married to your sister!
Rebecca's very grateful husband !
You know, when I read this the other day on Facebook, I felt a good bit of relief! Like you, I too seem to live life by accident! I have spent a good bit of time stewing about this inwardly, and sometimes wishing I was less random! It's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one!
ReplyDeleteI continue to love your posts, your amazing way of using words to describe everyday life in real and honest words. We all share life's joys and anxieties but can't say it so aptly. Please keep it up.
ReplyDeleteMy life is "accidental" too but I've called it spontaneous to explain the clutter and disorganization!
Mary H