I have been pondering this today, pulled from an article on how you should dress when you're on the other side of 45--
A client of mine once came to me for her appointment reeling. She had just been at a department store where a young man was looking for a present for his nephew. He stopped her with the sentence, “You look like a mom ... what would you suggest buying for a ten-year-old boy?” She wanted an entirely different haircut that day.
Obviously the implication here is that looking like a mom is a bad thing. Maybe that's because the popular perception is that looking like a mom is all physical, and all moms are sloppy and out of shape. At least that's the impression I get when people meet me and insist that I can't possibly have six children, which is flattering in its way, but I think the essence of a real mom shows up on her face and I hope that's what people can see in me.
I am proud to be a mom, and I hope people can look at me and tell right off that if they have a problem they can tell me about it, that I've survived enough crises to know what to get upset about and what not to, that I'll happily dispense advice, that I believe in better things for them, that I'll drop everything to make them a cup of hot tea, that I'll happily mother anyone who needs mothering.
And if someone stops me in a store to ask what to buy for a ten-year-old, I'll feel honored.
Quote of the Day:
"You gotta be the funniest mom alive."
--Jenny. Yes, I consider this one of the best compliments ever.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Column and Birthday
Today's Letter from Harrisburg is about change.
And today is Emily's 18th birthday. You can visit this amazing daughter of mine here.
Quote of the Day:
"Ah can ah-dentifah with thaaat!"
--Julia from Mississippi, referring to the story about Ben and Steven picking and spilling the blackberries. She has never met me but reads my blog, and was driving up Interstate 5 the other day while on a Western Trip with her husband and remembered a story about us living by the freeway and called to find out which was our house. We moved out of that house some years ago, so I couldn't wave at her, but we had a nice chat anyway.
And today is Emily's 18th birthday. You can visit this amazing daughter of mine here.
Quote of the Day:
"Ah can ah-dentifah with thaaat!"
--Julia from Mississippi, referring to the story about Ben and Steven picking and spilling the blackberries. She has never met me but reads my blog, and was driving up Interstate 5 the other day while on a Western Trip with her husband and remembered a story about us living by the freeway and called to find out which was our house. We moved out of that house some years ago, so I couldn't wave at her, but we had a nice chat anyway.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Rumor Laid To Rest
So yesterday I called the chiropractor's office to see which foot of Matt's needs an insert in the shoe since he's back on his feet, sacking seed, and needs to know and it's been so long that he got out of the habit of using it.
So I left a message and, soon after, the phone rang. "Hello, this is 'Elonna'." Oh, ok, must be Elona Ketcham from the Shoppe of Shalom, otherwise known as the Mennonite Store. But she went on, "I'm calling from Dr. Ruckman's office and I got your message, and it's the left foot."
She then went on to ask how I was doing and just chitchatted like an old friend. I was thoroughly confused. How many women are there with names pronounced "Elonna"?? But WHAT would Elona K. be doing calling from the doctor's office? To my knowledge the only place she works is the store.
But there she was, chatting like she knew me. I don't do well with shifting contexts, like if you'd be in an airport overseas and see your neighbor lady. Wait, is that really her? But it looks just like her. But WHAT would she be doing here?
But whoever this woman on the phone was, she was asking me what I'm doing on the Fourth of July. I tried to act nonchalant and normal despite my confusion. "I think I'll have Amy take the kids to the parade and then we'll all go hear the Knox Brothers and watch the fireworks."
And she said, "So is it true what I heard, that this is the last year the Knox Brothers are singing at the gazebo, or maybe the second-to-last year, and they're going to be disbanding?"
Oh dear, I had heard nothing of the sort.
We ended the conversation with me still confused about who I had been speaking to. And at the supper table I broached this very important topic: Were the Knox Brothers disbanding? I found this alarming, feeling like I had never appreciated them as I ought, or gone to their concerts (besides the 4th of July ones), the way we Oregon people don't go to Crater Lake.
No one knew. "Ask Grandma, she'll know," someone said, but if she didn't know it could just fan the flames of rumor even more.
Wait, you don't know who the Knox Brothers are? Shocking.
Ok, they are these six brothers who grew up in this very house and their mom was Paul's grandpa's half sister. They have been singing together for many years and if you knew what you ought to know about Gospel music, you would know who the Knox Brothers are. Especially if you're over 40.
Half of them live just down the road from us, and every year they sing in the gazebo on the riverfront in Harrisburg on July 4th while we all wait for the fireworks, which is a lovely summer ritual.
This evening I sat by EG who knows everything about Gospel music. " Are the Knox Brothers disbanding?" I asked.
"No!" she said emphatically. "There's this crazy rumor out there because they're not doing the one Gospel music festival any more, and next month there's a big 40th anniversary celebration for them. But they're still singing like they always have and there's no sign of them quitting."
What a relief. I really need to actually take in one of their concerts sometime, just in case they actually do retire. And I should go see Crater Lake again sometime, just in case they drain it or something.
And now you know that that rumor isn't true.
Quote of the Day:
"Excuses, excuses, you hear them every day. . . "
--a song the Knox Brothers sang this evening, by special request, for someone's 11th anniversary. Not sure we want to know the reason this was requested.
So I left a message and, soon after, the phone rang. "Hello, this is 'Elonna'." Oh, ok, must be Elona Ketcham from the Shoppe of Shalom, otherwise known as the Mennonite Store. But she went on, "I'm calling from Dr. Ruckman's office and I got your message, and it's the left foot."
She then went on to ask how I was doing and just chitchatted like an old friend. I was thoroughly confused. How many women are there with names pronounced "Elonna"?? But WHAT would Elona K. be doing calling from the doctor's office? To my knowledge the only place she works is the store.
But there she was, chatting like she knew me. I don't do well with shifting contexts, like if you'd be in an airport overseas and see your neighbor lady. Wait, is that really her? But it looks just like her. But WHAT would she be doing here?
But whoever this woman on the phone was, she was asking me what I'm doing on the Fourth of July. I tried to act nonchalant and normal despite my confusion. "I think I'll have Amy take the kids to the parade and then we'll all go hear the Knox Brothers and watch the fireworks."
And she said, "So is it true what I heard, that this is the last year the Knox Brothers are singing at the gazebo, or maybe the second-to-last year, and they're going to be disbanding?"
Oh dear, I had heard nothing of the sort.
We ended the conversation with me still confused about who I had been speaking to. And at the supper table I broached this very important topic: Were the Knox Brothers disbanding? I found this alarming, feeling like I had never appreciated them as I ought, or gone to their concerts (besides the 4th of July ones), the way we Oregon people don't go to Crater Lake.
No one knew. "Ask Grandma, she'll know," someone said, but if she didn't know it could just fan the flames of rumor even more.
Wait, you don't know who the Knox Brothers are? Shocking.
Ok, they are these six brothers who grew up in this very house and their mom was Paul's grandpa's half sister. They have been singing together for many years and if you knew what you ought to know about Gospel music, you would know who the Knox Brothers are. Especially if you're over 40.
Half of them live just down the road from us, and every year they sing in the gazebo on the riverfront in Harrisburg on July 4th while we all wait for the fireworks, which is a lovely summer ritual.
This evening I sat by EG who knows everything about Gospel music. " Are the Knox Brothers disbanding?" I asked.
"No!" she said emphatically. "There's this crazy rumor out there because they're not doing the one Gospel music festival any more, and next month there's a big 40th anniversary celebration for them. But they're still singing like they always have and there's no sign of them quitting."
What a relief. I really need to actually take in one of their concerts sometime, just in case they actually do retire. And I should go see Crater Lake again sometime, just in case they drain it or something.
And now you know that that rumor isn't true.
Quote of the Day:
"Excuses, excuses, you hear them every day. . . "
--a song the Knox Brothers sang this evening, by special request, for someone's 11th anniversary. Not sure we want to know the reason this was requested.
Recommended
If you've heard me speak in the past year you might remember me saying, "You have a story to tell." It's a theme I keep coming back to and trying to convince women of.
Apparently someone at the AARP has been thinking along the same lines because they just published this article called "Everyone has a story to tell." It's one of the best how-to's on memoir-writing I've ever read.
Thanks to Margaret from the First Congregational Church for the link. I don't yet get AARP literature myself, just so you know.
Quote of the Day:
"Services are Christ-centered, liturgical, and dignified."
--readerboard at a church in Albany
Apparently someone at the AARP has been thinking along the same lines because they just published this article called "Everyone has a story to tell." It's one of the best how-to's on memoir-writing I've ever read.
Thanks to Margaret from the First Congregational Church for the link. I don't yet get AARP literature myself, just so you know.
Quote of the Day:
"Services are Christ-centered, liturgical, and dignified."
--readerboard at a church in Albany
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Test results
Another theory shot down: I was sure there was something in Oregon that Emily is allergic to--maybe molds or ryegrass dust or lilac pollen. We got her latest test results back and everything Pacific North West was negative, plus everything else they tested her for.
Except West Nile fever. That's still elevated, the nurse said. As I understood it, it will keep showing up on tests long after Emily's well, so not much can be concluded from this except that the original tests were accurate and we have actually been dealing with West Nile for the last 10 months and have not been wandering down a dead-end tunnel in this maze all this time.
Upward and onward.
Quote of the Day:
"Worms have feelings too!!"
--Emily, whose drama has not been destroyed by WNF, to Steven, who was going fishing
Except West Nile fever. That's still elevated, the nurse said. As I understood it, it will keep showing up on tests long after Emily's well, so not much can be concluded from this except that the original tests were accurate and we have actually been dealing with West Nile for the last 10 months and have not been wandering down a dead-end tunnel in this maze all this time.
Upward and onward.
Quote of the Day:
"Worms have feelings too!!"
--Emily, whose drama has not been destroyed by WNF, to Steven, who was going fishing
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Remembering
Today it's two years that my nephew Leonard ended his life, and of course the whole family is remembering the generous, fun person Leonard was and reliving that awful, awful week.
And yet. His sister Janet is in Haiti on a mission project. Annette and her husband took flowers to neighbors who lost a son to a motorcycle accident. And Marcus, who is my brother and Leonard's dad, has consented to lead a workshop on suicide at Penn Valley Retreat Center this fall even though it's going to be very difficult for him.
Quote of the Day:
"Well, you make choices every day of your life, and the easy choice would not be to do the redemptive thing."
--Annette. But as you can see they choose to do the redemptive thing anyhow.
And yet. His sister Janet is in Haiti on a mission project. Annette and her husband took flowers to neighbors who lost a son to a motorcycle accident. And Marcus, who is my brother and Leonard's dad, has consented to lead a workshop on suicide at Penn Valley Retreat Center this fall even though it's going to be very difficult for him.
Quote of the Day:
"Well, you make choices every day of your life, and the easy choice would not be to do the redemptive thing."
--Annette. But as you can see they choose to do the redemptive thing anyhow.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Lists
When my fine daughter Emily doesn't know what to post about, she posts lists. Such as a list of things she's had a crush on in her dreams, which included a clothespin.
I have not been posting because my article isn't done for July and so I feel guilty writing anything else. But surely writing a list or two isn't really posting, is it?
Things I feel guilty about:
1. Posting when I don't have my column done.
2. When people buy my book and I'm afraid they can't afford it.
3. When it's "family night" at church and our family doesn't contribute anything.
4. Buying fabric.
5. Making hot dogs for supper.
6. Forgetting birthdays.
7. Not contributing to Food for Lane County at the checkout.
8. When I avoid people at church because I don't want to talk about what they always want to talk about.
9. Matt's hair.
10. When I get tired of Emily talking.
11. Cobwebs.
12. That I forgot Ben's birthday last year because my sister was here.
13. When I'm late sending out Christmas cards.
14. Going to church in a dirty vehicle.
15. Not liking a book my sister recommended.
16. That I punished Emily for not listening to me when she was 4 years old and it turned out she had fluid in her ears and could hardly hear.
17. Ongoing Ministers Wife issues
18. When I don't use up the fresh mushrooms before they go bad.
Entertaining items on Craigslist:
1. "A Picture of a Deer Running on a Cloth." (Ooooo, hope it's not Grandma's linen tablecloth. Ah! It's one of those old tapestries from the 70s. With a picture on it of a deer leaping over a log.)
2. "frabic rounds..stuff to make blanket or ???? free bag of fabric rounds and small doilee thing a ma bobers. wife started to make a blanket and no longer has time . please put to good use or we will just throw it away. we are off mohawk blvd. in springtuckey."
Things I am thinking about working into my column, all with a theme of "change."--
1. Picking strawberries
2. Steven outgrowing his t-shirts
3. Hansie getting old and tired
4. My body mass slowly melting southward
5. email
People who intimidate me:
1. In-laws.
2. People who tell me what to do.
3. Hyper-spiritual people who evidently were not born with sinful natures like I was
4. Moms whose children were born without sinful natures.
5. Real writers.
Reasons I am very blessed:
1. I am 46 years old today. A lot of people never get the chance to live this long.
2. My family remembered the day with flowers, Baskin-Robbins gift cards, money for fancy coffee, and other cool stuff.
3. The predicted hailstorm this evening passed us and the ripened fields by.
4. I can read.
5. My family makes me laugh.
Reasons I worry about our marriage:
1. Paul and I don't laugh at the same things like all the books say you should.
2. He missed half an acre of bristles under his nose this morning and I made him turn the car around and go home and re-shave.
3. Things about Paul bother me that didn't bother me when I was 25. Like the way he opens doors and walks through, only he YANKS them open and CHARGES through. What will it be like in 20 years?
4. Some days I wouldn't want to be married to me for anything and I wonder how Paul can stand it.
5. I don't mind when he goes on a trip.
Quote of the Day:
"Having a few issues with submission, are we, Mom?"
--Matt, on occasions like the re-shaving episode
I have not been posting because my article isn't done for July and so I feel guilty writing anything else. But surely writing a list or two isn't really posting, is it?
Things I feel guilty about:
1. Posting when I don't have my column done.
2. When people buy my book and I'm afraid they can't afford it.
3. When it's "family night" at church and our family doesn't contribute anything.
4. Buying fabric.
5. Making hot dogs for supper.
6. Forgetting birthdays.
7. Not contributing to Food for Lane County at the checkout.
8. When I avoid people at church because I don't want to talk about what they always want to talk about.
9. Matt's hair.
10. When I get tired of Emily talking.
11. Cobwebs.
12. That I forgot Ben's birthday last year because my sister was here.
13. When I'm late sending out Christmas cards.
14. Going to church in a dirty vehicle.
15. Not liking a book my sister recommended.
16. That I punished Emily for not listening to me when she was 4 years old and it turned out she had fluid in her ears and could hardly hear.
17. Ongoing Ministers Wife issues
18. When I don't use up the fresh mushrooms before they go bad.
Entertaining items on Craigslist:
1. "A Picture of a Deer Running on a Cloth." (Ooooo, hope it's not Grandma's linen tablecloth. Ah! It's one of those old tapestries from the 70s. With a picture on it of a deer leaping over a log.)
2. "frabic rounds..stuff to make blanket or ???? free bag of fabric rounds and small doilee thing a ma bobers. wife started to make a blanket and no longer has time . please put to good use or we will just throw it away. we are off mohawk blvd. in springtuckey."
Things I am thinking about working into my column, all with a theme of "change."--
1. Picking strawberries
2. Steven outgrowing his t-shirts
3. Hansie getting old and tired
4. My body mass slowly melting southward
5. email
People who intimidate me:
1. In-laws.
2. People who tell me what to do.
3. Hyper-spiritual people who evidently were not born with sinful natures like I was
4. Moms whose children were born without sinful natures.
5. Real writers.
Reasons I am very blessed:
1. I am 46 years old today. A lot of people never get the chance to live this long.
2. My family remembered the day with flowers, Baskin-Robbins gift cards, money for fancy coffee, and other cool stuff.
3. The predicted hailstorm this evening passed us and the ripened fields by.
4. I can read.
5. My family makes me laugh.
Reasons I worry about our marriage:
1. Paul and I don't laugh at the same things like all the books say you should.
2. He missed half an acre of bristles under his nose this morning and I made him turn the car around and go home and re-shave.
3. Things about Paul bother me that didn't bother me when I was 25. Like the way he opens doors and walks through, only he YANKS them open and CHARGES through. What will it be like in 20 years?
4. Some days I wouldn't want to be married to me for anything and I wonder how Paul can stand it.
5. I don't mind when he goes on a trip.
Quote of the Day:
"Having a few issues with submission, are we, Mom?"
--Matt, on occasions like the re-shaving episode
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Trauma and Drama
Today I was out digging in the flower beds and planting dianthus when a pickup truck drove in and Paul got out the passenger side. The driver turned out to be our new employee Felipe, and he was driving Paul home because Paul had just hurt his finger. It was wrapped in a blue paper-towelly thing that was turning bloody.
They had been putting a panel on Paul's truck and Paul was pushing this and trying to unstick that when it suddenly went into place and smashed his finger. (No I still can't visualize exactly how it happened.) The bottom part of the nail had popped out of the finger and I could go into more details but I won't.
Felipe had a better first-aid kit in his pickup than Paul has in the warehouse (new item on my to-do list) so they dumped peroxide on and tried to clean it up.
Paul of course carried on the traditions of a good Mennonite farmer and was making as small a deal of this as possible, but surprisingly enough he wanted to see a doctor, something Mennonite farmers are known for resisting until they turn blue or have blood bubbling out of their mouths or arms dangling by threads of skin.
Of course the local clinics were just closing up, so we went to Urgent Care in Albany. The doctor x-rayed the finger (the bone was broken this way and that but the pieces weren't separated) and cut off the looser half of the fingernail and bandaged it all up.
He is doing fine and I think I'm ok too.
Meanwhile down in Winston my lovely daughter Amy who just turned 20 today is teaching Bible school along with 4 other girls from here and staying with a sweet older lady named Elanor. The night before last they all decided to go for a walk, which Amy loves to do, at any time and in any place. Some distance down the road and around the corner a minivan passed them. It turned around and came back, and the driver asked if they need a ride. No, they did not.
After a while the van came back and the driver, whom Amy described as weird and smoking a cigarette, got out and told them they should be careful because there are some strange people around there. Then he left, but in all he drove by them five times.
Well, this gave them a proper dose of the chills, but then when they turned the corner to go back to Elanor's here they saw what looked like the contents of someone's wallet beside the road--credit cards and a drivers license. And the picture on the license looked like the man that had passed them.
They went home and locked the doors and Amy called Paul. He advised her to leave it til the next day, and then if the stuff was still beside the road, to take it to the police station. So that's what she did. Only a secretary was there at the time, so it was arranged that Amy would come back early this morning to talk to an officer.
So she did, and found out the guy was a registered sex offender and the police are keeping an eye on him because they suspect he's preying on women again. "But are you sure the guy on the license is the same guy that passed you?" I said.
Amy said, "Yes, because they asked me what he was driving, and I never notice cars, but I noticed this one because it was like the one we used to have so I was like, 'It was a brown Ford Aerostar" and they were like, "Yeah, that's what he drives."
Well, praise God for angels and praying moms and all kinds of other mercies. This is one of those situations where I have to deliberately rein in my imagination and take every thought captive or I could just completely, utterly freak out.
Quote of the Day:
"That's so cool that you get to help fight crime!"
--Jenny, to Amy
P.S. Hmmm.....Interesting that Amy had written on her Xanga, "I am headed off on my next adventure, heading a posse of girls to restore justice in the small town of Winston." Little did she realize. . .
They had been putting a panel on Paul's truck and Paul was pushing this and trying to unstick that when it suddenly went into place and smashed his finger. (No I still can't visualize exactly how it happened.) The bottom part of the nail had popped out of the finger and I could go into more details but I won't.
Felipe had a better first-aid kit in his pickup than Paul has in the warehouse (new item on my to-do list) so they dumped peroxide on and tried to clean it up.
Paul of course carried on the traditions of a good Mennonite farmer and was making as small a deal of this as possible, but surprisingly enough he wanted to see a doctor, something Mennonite farmers are known for resisting until they turn blue or have blood bubbling out of their mouths or arms dangling by threads of skin.
Of course the local clinics were just closing up, so we went to Urgent Care in Albany. The doctor x-rayed the finger (the bone was broken this way and that but the pieces weren't separated) and cut off the looser half of the fingernail and bandaged it all up.
He is doing fine and I think I'm ok too.
Meanwhile down in Winston my lovely daughter Amy who just turned 20 today is teaching Bible school along with 4 other girls from here and staying with a sweet older lady named Elanor. The night before last they all decided to go for a walk, which Amy loves to do, at any time and in any place. Some distance down the road and around the corner a minivan passed them. It turned around and came back, and the driver asked if they need a ride. No, they did not.
After a while the van came back and the driver, whom Amy described as weird and smoking a cigarette, got out and told them they should be careful because there are some strange people around there. Then he left, but in all he drove by them five times.
Well, this gave them a proper dose of the chills, but then when they turned the corner to go back to Elanor's here they saw what looked like the contents of someone's wallet beside the road--credit cards and a drivers license. And the picture on the license looked like the man that had passed them.
They went home and locked the doors and Amy called Paul. He advised her to leave it til the next day, and then if the stuff was still beside the road, to take it to the police station. So that's what she did. Only a secretary was there at the time, so it was arranged that Amy would come back early this morning to talk to an officer.
So she did, and found out the guy was a registered sex offender and the police are keeping an eye on him because they suspect he's preying on women again. "But are you sure the guy on the license is the same guy that passed you?" I said.
Amy said, "Yes, because they asked me what he was driving, and I never notice cars, but I noticed this one because it was like the one we used to have so I was like, 'It was a brown Ford Aerostar" and they were like, "Yeah, that's what he drives."
Well, praise God for angels and praying moms and all kinds of other mercies. This is one of those situations where I have to deliberately rein in my imagination and take every thought captive or I could just completely, utterly freak out.
Quote of the Day:
"That's so cool that you get to help fight crime!"
--Jenny, to Amy
P.S. Hmmm.....Interesting that Amy had written on her Xanga, "I am headed off on my next adventure, heading a posse of girls to restore justice in the small town of Winston." Little did she realize. . .
Amy's Birthday
Yes, my oldest daughter is 20 years old today. She is a lovely young lady and we are very proud of her, but we can't celebrate with her today because she's two hours away teaching vacation Bible school.
If you like, you can go to her Xanga and wish her a happy birthday as well.
Quote of the Day:
"Maffoo turned on da faucet and my dress got all wet!"
--Amy at barely two years old. She was very verbal very young, besides being cute and brilliant and all those other obvious things.
If you like, you can go to her Xanga and wish her a happy birthday as well.
Quote of the Day:
"Maffoo turned on da faucet and my dress got all wet!"
--Amy at barely two years old. She was very verbal very young, besides being cute and brilliant and all those other obvious things.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A Sad, Desperate Poem
Mylanta no doubt has its virtues
Paris Hilton has daily new quirks
But don't tell me that when all that I want
is an email program that works.
I don't need to check on the weather
or be reminded the Blazers are jerks.
All that I ask is to write to my sis
and I just want an email that works.
I don't need a flashing red button
promising Vegas and all of its perks.
Just hand me the basics of send and receive
in an old-fashioned program that works.
I don't need a link to Verizon
or an ad at the bottom that lurks.
Just leave me alone and don't make me change
from an outdated Juno that works.
Quote of the Day:
"The sins of crocheting ugly afghans."
--Emily, when I asked what I should talk about at the luncheon at the Mennonite Home on Thursday
Paris Hilton has daily new quirks
But don't tell me that when all that I want
is an email program that works.
I don't need to check on the weather
or be reminded the Blazers are jerks.
All that I ask is to write to my sis
and I just want an email that works.
I don't need a flashing red button
promising Vegas and all of its perks.
Just hand me the basics of send and receive
in an old-fashioned program that works.
I don't need a link to Verizon
or an ad at the bottom that lurks.
Just leave me alone and don't make me change
from an outdated Juno that works.
Quote of the Day:
"The sins of crocheting ugly afghans."
--Emily, when I asked what I should talk about at the luncheon at the Mennonite Home on Thursday
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