Seedsackers

Sacking and stacking 50-pound sacks of grass seed for 8 hours a day in a dusty, rumbling, cavernous warehouse is a unique experience producing a rare breed of men: the Seedsackers.

Here, in their own words gleaned from the dry-erase board posted behind the bagger, are a few ways you can recognize a Seedsacker—as opposed to a mere mortal.

1. Can recognize any song on KLOVE just from the first three notes
2. Uses his fingers to clean out his ears
3. Considers his job to be very manly
4. Eats a burrito in 2 gulps and a corn dog in 3
5. Eats the entire pack of burritos (8—that his mom was planning to feed the whole family with) in one sitting
6. Can sympathize with the builders of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
7. Shudders at the words “rice bran”
8. Breaks into the Hallelujah Chorus at first mention of getting off fescue and onto ryegrass
9. Comes over and gloats to the next worker after his own shift is over
10. Drinks water straight from a 1-gallon milk jug
11. Doesn’t care if food lands on the floor
12. Uses the back of his arm for a kleenex
13. Sings like a coyote in a trash compactor
14. Dances like a hippo with a broken hip
15. Won’t in a million years let someone see him singing or dancing
16. Has long conversations with himself
17. Does about 10 stupid things in a day’s time, but doesn’t tell anyone save fellow seed sackers or really close friends
18. Can fix any object in the world with duct tape
19. Tries to make his day sound worse than it was
20. Thinks that the forklift has an ornery personality
21. [Censored item involving phlegm color]

And then there is the really special type of Seedsacker, an elite corps of men. How to recognize The Night Guy:

1. Squints at the moon
2. Always looks like he just saw a ghost
3. Shudders at the word “blackout”
4. Thinks a warehouse at night is scarier than a haunted house
5. Favorite song is “Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning”

Special thanks to Matt, Justin, and Brandon

Quote of the Day:
“It’s kind of annoying when you have to say ‘okay’ all the time.”
--Steven, who is still learning what to do and not do with a mom and dad