As mentioned before, I like Craigslist both for shopping and for entertainment. Today I was looking up garage sales this weekend and saw this:
DIVORCING DEADBEAT HUSBAND SALE
Whoa. This description followed:
DIVORCING MY UNEMPLOYED,DRUNK,POT HEAD,LYING,CHEATING,NO CHILD SUPPORT PAYING, TEMPERMENTAL,DESTRUCTIVE,TOXIC WASTE OF A HUSBAND MOVING SALE
Apparently in their divorce settlement she got all the household stuff and he got all the commas, because the long list of for-sale items included:
Metal Futon Frame Home Theatre Stereo System
Pampered Chef Young Men’s M-XL & Jeans
China Setting for 12 BOOKS
Flute Picture Frames
Keyboard Framed Pictures
Lincoln Logs Yard Art
Tonka Trucks Lawn mower
Ok, I suppose I shouldn't find humor in another person's tragedy but you have to admit this is not your average garage sale ad.
Then while I was on Craigslist I had to check out the ever-intriguing Free ads. Some are blunt:
alpaca manure mixed with wood chips:
We have LOTS of wet mucky poop mixed with wood chips that would be great for your garden beds. You scoop it and take it away for free!
Then there are the ones that make you go Huh??
FREE ACTUAL BOAT USED AS A PLAYHOUSE YOU HAUL
We have a 24 foot Fiberform cabin cruiser (no engine) in the backyard that has been used as a kids playhouse.
And then there's the one for legally-blind people who don't like their eye color:
Free Soft Contact Lenses
-5.50, Freshlook Dimensions, sea green, 15 ea
-4.75, Freshlook Dimensions, sea green, 15 ea
Beautiful color!
I like Craigslist.
Did you know they don't allow pet ads? You'd think with all the other items and services (some of them questionable) being peddled, pets would not be the place where the line is drawn...
ReplyDeleteI like craigslist too. I hadn't thought about using it for garage sales. Thanks for the tip!
Good luck browsing through that no-good so and so's former possessions! I mean, you are going, right?
I love the "he got all the commas" line.
ReplyDeleteOh you make me laugh, mom. That was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteyour comments about life and craigslist are just... well, I like them! But WHAT happened to Quote of the Day? I like those, too.
ReplyDeleteWhew! I'm glad to see another quirky soul who finds amusement in bad grammar.
ReplyDeleteTo Justme--as it turned out, I had too much going on on Saturday to go to garage sales. Too bad, eh? I wanted some of those Pampered Chef young men's jeans for the boys.
ReplyDelete