The JWs and Me

You know how in the old days tramps would put a little chalk mark on the gate of a sympathetic housewife so other tramps would know where to go to ask for a sandwich?

Well, I think the Jehovah's Witnesses have tagged me.

They've been coming for a long time--years, I'd guess. This one lady always, always came when I was in the middle of something--grilling hamburgers with smoke billowing like a field fire; ready to fly out the door to go speak somewhere; something. She always seemed surprised that I was busy. Helloooo? I always grill this many hamburgers, I always have things to do. But she didn't seem to get this.

This was also the era of the black-skirted women who kept smiling even though Hansie the huge shedding dog kept going around and around them and they went to the car with their skirts liberally decorated with yellow hairs.

Then we transitioned to the one-armed woman, who has never mentioned the fact that she has only one arm, even though when she first came she had two, I'm almost positive, and when she first came with only one I don't think I caught a thing she said because I was so distracted.

Somewhere in this era Paul happened to go to the door one day and had a discussion with them as only a Smucker can discuss. Loud and logical. But they kept coming and hinted that they would rather talk with me than Paul.

Now it's always the one-armed woman and a friend, seemingly one that she's training in.

Until this past Saturday. There was a knock on the BACK door, and there was a whole new pair of Jehovah's Witnesses, a man and lady in their 60s.

They really have me flagged, I know it.

They asked my name and the lady exclaimed, "Oh, I love that movie!" I looked a bit bewildered and then she said, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" and I said, "Ah, yes," and then the conversation went to spiritual things, because the Jehovah's Witnesses do not chat about carnal things like movies and recipes and such.

But they always talk about things we agree on. They quote Scripture I know by heart myself. They talk about serving God and loving others and all Scripture being inspired of God and how Christians shouldn't go to war.

So they say stuff and quote Scripture, and I say mmm-hmmm and half-heartedly try to call Hansie off, and then eventually they leave.

So why do they keep coming?

Pete L. from church who is gifted in personal evangelism once gave a talk on dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses and had all kinds of brilliant ideas on things to say and questions to ask and winning arguments. But when I try to say anything to them I only get to "um" and they smoothly segue into the next point.

"You are not Pete," says Amy, who thankfully doesn't expect me to be.

Why do they keep coming? That's what I keep wondering. Are they trying to convert me? If so, why do they keep talking about things we agree on? Do they get points for talking to me? I'm happy to supply them with points, but not at the expense of burnt hamburgers.

And haven't they caught on that there's no chance they're going to make me turn JW?

I would enjoy getting to know them as people, because I find people fascinating and I like making friends. But except for brief comments about Hansie or 7B47B or hamburgers, the conversation almost never goes off into normal everyday stuff that shows who they really are.

I asked Pete the expert what their agenda is when they come to my house. He rebuked me sharply and said it doesn't matter what their agenda is. What matters is what my agenda is.

Well. What IS my agenda? I'd love to convert them all but am not making any progress at this, never being able to get past "um."

I don't have the slightest desire to win an argument or debate or even to get into one. And I don't want to be nasty.

Should I ask them not to bother coming here? Should I get Paul involved when they show up?

Or, just to see what happens, should I interrupt the reading of Scripture and ask that lady just what exactly happened to her arm?

Quote of the Day:
"God's Grace and a Good Husband can get you through just about anything."
--Bernice T.