Bravo for grappling with this issue. . . . I'm with you in being convinced that design denotes purpose, and that purpose is GOOD.
For what it's worth, I think Jael wiped the blood off that tent stake and pounded it back in the ground to hold up her tent instead of ordering another from Amazon!
I don't think less of a man or woman who likes to do things that are more common to the other gender, it's more whether they act like a man or a woman while they do it. For example, I don't think anyone who knew Menno Martin would say he was less than a man though he sewed together many beautiful quilts in his later years. And the young lady that works for us at the shop: though she isn't afraid to tackle the dirtiest, greasiest job, her demeanor shows her to be a real lady.