Another Sample from Writing Class

"Revise a Bible story to make a drama," I said.  "You can put it in a modern setting."  The class divided into twos and threes for this project and handed the finished products in today. I found this one amusing and a bit too true to life.  [Except of course I don't wave my hands around.  They made that up.] And I didn't catch on to the Biblical parallel until the very end.  You'll probably be sharper.

Tales of Writing Class

Written by Janane Doutrich and Jenny Smucker

                                                

Cast of Characters:

Mrs. Smucker

Kayla

Janie

Jae

Trent

Caleb

Ash

Deana

Curt

                                         Scene 1

(Thursday afternoon)

Mrs. Smucker: (sips tea) Okay, class….

Trent: (raises hand) When is this class going to be over?

Mrs. Smucker: I don’t know. (Waves hands around head) Now where was I?

Jae (bored): You were giving us our assignments.

Mrs. Smucker: Okay, now, I want this five-hundred word essay done by Tuesday. For those of you who didn’t get last week done, (everyone stares at Caleb) I want both of these done by Tuesday. You can go.

(Everyone grabs their things quickly and rushes out of the room.)

                                         Scene 2 

(Students talk while walking down hall)

Ash: So, when are you planning on doing your assignment?

Jae: It’s weird, I always do it the night I get it or I forget about it.

Trent: My parents make me do it on Sunday nights. (Makes a face.)

Caleb: I don’t have time to do mine, I have other things to do. Besides, when will I use this in real life?

Deana: Very true, besides I don’t like writing class. It’s a waste of my time.

Janie: The class is okay, but forty-five minutes of not being able to talk is just too much. 

Kayla: I really hope I have time, there’s a bunch of stuff I want to do with my friends this weekend. 

                                          Scene 3 (Monday morning)

Ash: So, what are you guys writing about?

Jae: I’m writing about the definition of freedom. What about you, Deana?
Deana: How technology can save the world. What about you writing about, Janie?

Janie: Either Psalm 23 in the 21^st century or Christian Schools. Probably Psalm 23 cause verses count for more words, so it’s an easy assignment.

(Kayla walks in)

Jae: What are you writing about, Kayla?
Kayla: (shrugs) I don’t know, I’ll probably write it tonight after I make supper for my family.

Janie: So, I heard Caleb hasn’t written his either. Do you think he’s going to get it done?

Jae: Oh, please tell me he’s at least started on the one from last week. (Rolls eyes)

Ash: I doubt it. I’m writing about freedom as well.

 Janie: Trent told me he finished it Sunday night. I’ll just do mine tomorrow before class. 

                                                           Scene Four (Tuesday afternoon)

Mrs. Smucker: (Holding a teacup) Time for writing class, you can head down to class.

(Everyone heads down the hall.)

Jae: So, Janie, did you get your assignment done?

Janie: Yeah, I changed my whole topic last night and did all the research, I didn’t get quite enough words, but hopefully it will be fine. I kind of slapped it down. But I heard Caleb and Kayla didn’t get their assignments done either, so we’ll just brave it together.

Kayla: What were you saying about me?

Deana: We were talking about our assignments.  I heard you didn’t get yours done.  Did you?

Kayla: (giggles and shrugs) Nope.

Ash: (Throws hands in the air) Seriously, guys, you need to actually get your assignments done!

(Start to walk up stairs)

Janie: (grimaces) Good luck!

Scene Five

Mrs. Smucker (gestures toward teapot) Okay, who wants tea?

(Girls raise hands, boys look disdainfully at them)

Mrs. Smucker: (pours tea) Please hand in your assignments as I pour the tea.

Caleb: I didn’t get mine done.  Well, I had homework.

Mrs. Smucker: (eyes widen) did you get either done?

Caleb: Well, I started.

Mrs. Smucker: Caleb, you need to treat this as homework and get it done when you get your homework done.

Caleb: (sighs)

Mrs. Smucker: So, is there anyone else who didn’t get their assignment done?

(Kayla and Janie raise hands)

Kayla: I had a busy weekend and just didn’t have time.

Janie: I got about two hundred words, but it’s not very good.  I did it this morning, because I had forgotten.

Mrs. Smucker: Just turn in what you have written.  Caleb, if you keep not handing assignments in, I’m going to have to fail you.  Kayla and Janei, I expected much more than this from you.  So the people that didn’t get their assignment done, will be required to take individual writing courses for the next few weeks.  If you refuse, you fail the class.  If you fail the class, you must take it again next year.

(Students begin to walk down the hall)

Janie: (groans) I wish I would’ve finished my assignment.  I don’t want to take individual classes. (Makes a face)

Caleb: Me either.  I have basketball and I don’t want to go to some stupid class.

Curt: (runs up, screams and runs behind Caleb) Can someone tell me what this story means? (Holds up a PACE)

Trent: The Story of Ten Virgins.  Well. . .(bends over to be Curt’s height)

Deana: We’ll give you a modern day example. To make it easier to understand.  It all started about a week ago in writing class. . .

Stuff Going On

I used to have Google ads on my blog.  The rule was that you could Not click on them just to rack up your numbers, so I scrupulously obeyed.

Despite that, while we were in Thailand in June of 2012, I got a notice from Google that they were cutting off my ads because of fraudulent click activity.

I was going to appeal it after I came home but I never did.

Just recently Emily saw my statistics and said, "You have to have ads, as many hits as you're getting."  She helped me go to the right page to make an appeal to Google.

I wrote up a touching but very true appeal, assuring them that I have no idea how or why there was fraudulent clicking on my site because with my sensitive conscience I was terribly careful.

I just heard back from them.  They are not granting my request.  And I am out of appeals and it will do no good to contact them.

Which of course makes me think I HAVE to have ads on my site, since I can't.

What do I do, oh techie friends and sons??

*     *     *
In other news, Paul's niece, Lisa Birky, got married to a fine young lumberjack named Kelvin Sadlier yesterday. It was a very happy occasion.  Kelly slept here the week prior to his wedding so we got to know him a bit better.

*     *     *
I have been teaching a writing class to Jenny and her classmates.  I love seeing what these kids come up with, and I am always surprised.

"Ashley" by Jenny

Ashley's like a skunk
That doesn't have its stinker.
She'd rather sit, than talk to folks
And ponder on her thinker.

"Jenny" by Janane

Jenny is like a diary
She knows more than most,
She knows most of the news
but tries not to boast.

"Caleb" by Trenton

Caleb is nice
And he likes Mexican rice.
He doesn't have lice
but he has pet mice.

"Mikayla" by Deana

Mikayla is sweet.
She keeps her desk neat.
She doesn't usually get done
But she still has fun.

"Mrs. Smucker" by Deana

Mrs. Smucker is a teacher
And a good one she may be
And I like her even better
When she gives me an A instead of a C.

Quote of the Day:
"If there's no drama in 'Jewel's' life, I don't think she considers it LIFE."
--Emily

Just So You Know: The "Novel"

Last night while getting ready for Lisa the niece's wedding, Paul's mom came by and said, "Oh, so you wrote a novel??"
I said, "What??"
She said, "I got your blog post in my email.  It said you're writing a novel!"
I said, "That was a joke."

So this is for all of you who get my blog in your email through Feedblitz or another server and didn't get the memo: the post about my novel "based on Paul's and my relationship" with a shot of myself in 1982 wearing glasses big enough for three people, that was an April Fools joke perpetrated by my conniving daughters.

Just so you know.

Retaining Honour--Post 11

If you grew up with Bedtime for Frances, as all children ought to, you might remember this line:

And all of a sudden, she was tired.

Well, so am I.

So.  A few final thoughts and disclaimers from me, and a few comments from you.

Just so you know, all these posts were me talking out of my own experiences, observations, and study, trying to pin down and organize the drifting cottonwood fluff in my head.  It was a good exercise for me to put it all into words.  But I am not a theologian or counselor or any expert you have to listen to.

Also, I tried to stick with the scope of subjects that touches my life and loved ones.  There are a hundred variations of choices and tendencies and questions one could address, but I decided to keep it narrow.  There's a lot more that could be said.  You are free to say it.

Thanks to everyone who found the series affirming and helpful and let me know.

To everyone who disagreed and told me so, gently, I appreciate that too.  You're allowed to disagree with me.

I received some disagreeing feedback that made me fear for my safety.  Strange how that made me more stubborn in my beliefs.  But when people disagreed kindly and rationally, it made me think, “You know, I need to think about this some more.  Maybe I’m wrong.”

Some things you said:

"'Fully Alive' by Larry Crabb has some incredible insight regarding gender. Thanks for being adventurous and tackling an uncomfortable [subject]."

--Austin Fahnestock

Bravo for grappling with this issue. . . . I'm with you in being convinced that design denotes purpose, and that purpose is GOOD.
--Anita

I sometimes wonder if the controversy in male/female roles in work can not be attributed to more people having moved off the farm. Girls no longer grow up working with dad feeding animals, driving the tractor, combines, climbing trees, hay bales in the barn - in short working alongside dad on the farm doing male things. We grew up and were glad to leave this work behind. We got it out of our system. These poor girls who did not have this experience cry for it because it has never been fulfilled. My theory.

--Sandra

"I do not agree with the Duck Dynasty quote. However------on the other end of the spectrum are mothers that try to push their sons into a feminine mold because they believe feminine is better. I had a mother like that."

--Alvin Miller

My thoughts about the young woman being interviewed on NPR. That "annoying" uptick at the end of each sentence is something we noticed when we moved to Canada and especially on the reserves. Some of the ladies there raised the pitch of their voice at the end of every sentence. 

--Melva

Me: The accent on the reserve in Canada where we lived was just a bit different.  It was a little up-then-down, so the sentence sounded like a question and then the voice dropped back down at the very end.

As a conservative Mennonite woman in college at the moment and in an advisory position to an Amish company and unafraid of public speaking and I won't say what else . . . "A woman's role" has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I am so happy that you are writing about this.

--Rosanna

 That overlap is very comforting to me, as I am in the outskirts of the bell curve, being better at math and visual perception than most women and many men. I "see" things more like men do. And I miss a lot of the stuff that most women expect me to get. I wish I had been better able to accept this stuff in my teens and 20s. Life would have been so much less stressful for me....trying always to fit into a mold God didn't design me to fit.....I hope there are lots of young men and women listening to what you are saying...and taking it to heart.

--Jodie Smith

 
For what it's worth, I think Jael wiped the blood off that tent stake and pounded it back in the ground to hold up her tent instead of ordering another from Amazon!

--Coleen Barnhart

 
I don't think less of a man or woman who likes to do things that are more common to the other gender, it's more whether they act like a man or a woman while they do it. For example, I don't think anyone who knew Menno Martin would say he was less than a man though he sewed together many beautiful quilts in his later years. And the young lady that works for us at the shop: though she isn't afraid to tackle the dirtiest, greasiest job, her demeanor shows her to be a real lady.

--Gina Miller

This made me reminisce about Stan, my friend Jean's dad and the former pastor of our church, who fixed cars in his younger days and then made quilts after he retired.  What a special and kind man he was.

As a cooking, ironing, house cleaning husband I can tell you that it's more about the person than what they do. When I take my apron off I am capable of truly manly things such as six hour baby-back ribs and stealth bomber repair....

--Cam Passmore

But--- gender IS socially constructed. There are a myriad of behaviors, clothing choices, even speech rhythms, that some cultures view as more 'feminine" and other cultures view as more "masculine." There is no universally accepted way to be a man or to be a woman. To add to this fluidity, intersex people exist, and they are not anomalies. They are often assigned a gender at birth and are raised and socialized to perform as that gender, even though they may not identify with that gender as an individual. There are a vast amount of thoughtfully written articles, blogs, and books about the struggles that real people go through, if you care to do any research beyond the bible.

--anonymous

I was tempted to say some bitter things about anonymous commenters after I got the above comment, but then I got this one which balanced things out:

 I've been drinking great big draughts of this series. My heart and my mind are saying "Yes, yes, yes!" Probably partly because I'm not one of those women who thrives on cleaning and laundry, or gushes over babies. I don't dislike babies, of course, but I'll gladly let someone else hold them. I'm more likely to use power tools, crunch numbers, or mow the yard, though I do love to cook, and pretty dishes make me wish for a kitchen of my own. Meanwhile, I will keep doing the things I love, even if some of those things are unusual in a woman. Thank you for giving me that extra bit of courage today. 

--anonymous

 So, Dorcas, are you going to publish it all in a small book, or some other easily available format? 

--Gwen Hertzler

Answer: Emily just asked me that too, and the answer is: I don't know.

. . . When I see blogs reminding women to avoid risks, I am not inherently saddened by that advice. I am saddened by the massive disproportion of those posts compared to posts advocating ways to help men never become rapists. I was also saddened to the comparison of swimming with sharks- the main issue is that men are not sharks and they can learn the importance of consent. I felt sad for the missed opportunities to help men be better than they would otherwise be, and through that to better protect a larger number of women. 

--Ariel

My response: yes, men can learn.  However, many of them haven't, and I have no control over them.  My sons, in contrast, are fine young men who would never rape a woman no matter how vulnerable she was.  In fact, they'd sacrifice their own safety to protect a woman.  This is embedded in their hearts and isn't just a fear of what the legal system or I would do to them.  But I can't count on other young men being as noble, so I teach my daughters to be wary. 

A testimony--I used to have absolutely terrible allergies. My allergist tested yearly and applied a number to the severity of each allergen. Between two of those testings I stopped being in charge in our marriage and began to submit to my husband. My allergy numbers were less than half at the next testing after years of them staying pretty much level. It would seem that living by God's plan for me as a wife took so much stress off of my immune system that my health improved. What a blessing it is to obey God and my husband. 

--mamma-lana

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. . . has written a wonderful book that shows the difference between what feminists preach and the reality of life in early America.  It's called Good Wives: Image and Reality in the Lives of Women in North America 1650-1750. . . It's a refreshing book on history.

--Lucy

[Edit--the above comment was actually from Rozy Lass.  Lucy, however, recommends Woman and the Republic by Helen Kendrick Johnson]

Blessings to everyone who stopped by for this series.  Now I'm off to plant a few seeds, get the lovely niece Lisa all married to the handsome Kelly, bake cinnamon rolls, and think about all kinds of things besides gender matters!

I'm Publishing a Novel!

[People--this is a joke.  Notice the date.  This is hard evidence that young people should go to bed BEFORE their parents and not after.  Emily and Jenny were the brilliant minds behind this travesty.  That PICTURE...mercy on us all.]

Taking a break from the “Retaining Honor” series to announce…

My first novel, "Oregon Dreams," is coming out fall 2014!

My publisher finally gave the ok for me to announce it, and show you the finished cover, which is below, along with the back-cover blurb. (And yes, it is loosely based on Paul’s and my relationship.)

Leaving behind her Amish heritage and troubled past, Edna Beiler accepts a teaching position in the distant state of Oregon, hoping to start over. Edna throws herself into her teaching duties, hoping to never have to deal with heartbreak again. Little does she realize that God might have more for her than she expected. As Philip Kropf, the handsome teacher in the next classroom, is increasing charmed by her quirky humor, Edna finds herself withdrawing more and more. Can she ever learn to accept love again?

Quote of the Day

Mom, how on earth are you going to sit on that secret until April?

-Emily, when I announced my book deal to the family last winter, and told them that my publisher wanted me to keep it a secret.

Retaining Honour--Post 10

There’s something joyful about just BEING, about knowing who you are and what you are, and about having gender be framework and foundation and context, rather than something you have to prove to yourself and others.

If your identity is solid, you can get on with life.

If you grow up Amish, there are times when you would really, really like to not only be something besides Amish, but to have others think you are, too.

My friend Cathy worked as a waitress in the Amish paradise of Sarasota, Florida.  Every so often a group of young guys would come in.  Short haircuts.  Tight t-shirts.  Fashionable jeans.  English-speaking.  Just doing their best to mist the air with the intoxicating scent of Cool.

Cathy would go to their table and start talking in Pennsylvania Dutch.

Sorry, guys.  Nice try.

I will always see the world through Amish lenses.  Cows make me happy.  Bare legs bother me.  I will eat the last bites off your plate rather than see you throw food away.  I will always have an ear for languages.

It would be a waste of time for me to try to BE something or someone else.  I might as well accept it and learn to laugh at myself.

However, I can admire and learn from many others.  I can study Spanish, read Jewish stories, and learn to make chai and chapatis like Kenyans.  I can listen to other perspectives.

That is very different from trying to be something I’m not.

The same applies to who you are as male or female.

If a child is loved for who they are, they don’t have to obsess about it.  Their parents’ love becomes a foundation for their lives and they don’t have to constantly prove that it’s there.  They can launch off of that platform.

If you know deep in your soul that God made you like you are –looks, emotions, interests, gender, weaknesses, strengths, and tastes—and he loves you completely, then, instead of staying stuck on any of those features, you can go marching on with your life and be someone who gives and blesses out of your own abundance.

You can experience joy.

Maybe you’re a woman who loves floral dresses and cooking big suppers.  That’s ok.  Or maybe you’d rather be crunching numbers or reading about the Civil War.  That’s ok too.  Or you might enjoy all the above.  If you know who you are as a woman, it doesn’t matter.  Your foundation is solid.

I find something sad and desperate about people who feel they have to prove their gender.  Young men who wear cowboy boots and spit and cuss for no good reason except to convince us that they’re men.  Young women who show off their bodies as though proving their femininity.

There’s joy in just being who you are--fully a woman or man.

A woman who isn’t afraid to be seen as “motherly.”

Men who open doors for women, and women who thank them.

A man who does his work and follows his interests, macho or not, without worrying about labels.

Women who recognize how much power they have and use it wisely.

A big farmer rocking a small child to sleep.

There’s a purpose for you and for everything that you are.  If you know God made you and loves you, you can just Be.  You don’t have to feel constantly compelled to Do or to Prove.

My friend Ella Boss was a jolly woman with a large family who got enormous satisfaction out of taking care of them.  She also made me feel like, oh, yeeeess, of COURSE, I would do just FINE as a new mom!  Despite being a traditional Mennonite woman in pretty much every way, Ella loved to chop wood.  One time the family went camping, she told me, and she wanted to split the kindling wood, so the others indulged her.  She was squatting down and whacking away with the hatchet having a great time when a neighboring camper marched over and reamed out all those big strapping sons standing around.  Disgusting--how they made their poor mother split the firewood while they just stood around being lazy!  Ella tried to explain but the neighbor didn’t want an explanation.  Ella laughed and laughed, telling me about it years later.

Now I think: maybe Ella was someone who could just BE.

And she was always smiling.

Tomorrow: a few final thoughts from me and comments from you