Sunday, January 19, 2014

On Babies Who "Shouldn't Be"

A young lady once told me:

"I have this sense that I shouldn't have been.  My parents were young and unmarried when they got pregnant with me, so they got married.  They've never been very happy together, and it always feels like it's my fault. I can't get past this feeling that I wasn't meant to be."

Another young woman confided:

"My parents were older when I was born.  I feel like I was a total accident.  I know they thought their family was complete, and they didn't want more children.  And then I showed up.  I feel like I should never have been."

We have been studying the women of the Bible in Sunday school.  In the process, we've looked at the genealogy of Jesus.

It couldn't have been chance, the number of questionable women and shouldn't-have-been people in the ancestral line of Jesus.  God was making a deliberate point, I'm sure of it.

Rahab, the "harlot."

Solomon, born of King David and Bathsheba, after the death of a child conceived with David while Bathsheba's husband Uriah was still alive and born after Uriah was killed in a terrible story of murder and intrigue.

Perez, product of a semi-incestuous interlude with Judah and his daughter-in-law Tamar, conceived through trickery and more intrigue.

Ruth, who came from Moab, which was not a place you were supposed to marry people from, and who married Boaz and was the great-grandmother of King David.

And yet, these people and their often-bizarre stories worked their way into the family line of Jesus.  Which goes to show that everyone's story can be redeemed.

Perez even became so noteworthy that to be like him was considered a blessing.  "May your family be like that of Perez," said the neighbor ladies when Ruth's baby was born.

Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday.  No matter the circumstances of your birth, God has great and redemptive things He wants to do with your life.

You are supposed to be.  There is redemption for your story.

Just so you know.


  1. I love, love, love this post! There are so many amazing stories in the Bible where we would think things went wrong, but were part of God's plan all along. Just a teeny correction: the child born to David and Bathsheba who was conceived while Uriah was alive died (as predicted by the prophet Nathan, I believe). Solomon was conceived after that child's death. And no, I'm not so smart. :) We just had a sermon series on this.

  2. Thank you, Sheila! I knew that detail back when I still had my full mind, I'm sure. Corrected it!

  3. Yes, there may be unplanned pregnancies but never accidents. Children are such a blessing!!

  4. You know, we have a child who came quite a while after everyone else, and we thank God for him repeatedly and often! He is such a blessing...I certainly hope he never feels like he wasn't meant to be! He was ! He is a huge gift to our family!

  5. Beautiful. Everyone should read this.

  6. I just heard Ray Vanderlaan talk about Perez. In Hebrew it means "Expolosive" Jesus had an explosive gene in His blood. He was praising Tamar for being the tool God used in redeeming the line of the Redeemer by bringing Judah to repentance after selling his brother to slavery. Judah asked his father about the coat, "DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS." Later Tamar sent Judah's possessions back to him saying to her father-in-law, "DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE?" He could have burned them and her...BUT, he repented!!! Praise God...always working towards our redemption.

  7. Dorcas, May I re-print this in the Adoption News? This is perfect! i would of course give credit to you for writing it.

  8. Chris--yes, certainly you can reprint it.
    Jolene--thanks for sharing those details. So interesting.

  9. This is beautiful!! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! It should be read by many! -Renita

  10. Your post put into words what I have often thought. In God's plan, there are no accidents. My parents were 16 and 18 when I unexpectedly (to them) came to be. My husband was born to an unwed 18 year old mother. Seems like a sure recipe for disaster...but God had other ideas. We are so blessed.

  11. I, too, was one of those "accidents" coming along 8.5 years behind my brother. I love to tease my mom about it, but I have never felt that I wasn't wanted even though I know it was harder on Mom to have a baby and toddler in her 40's than for my other siblings. And now, having just given up my own preemie daughter to Jesus, it breaks my heart to think of people going through life feeling unwanted. There are so many aching, empty arms longing to have a baby to hold. Very well written Dorcas. God truly can redeem our pain and make our stories beautiful.