Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Tradition, change, getting old

I am old.

I just got done writing a column for May about family traditions. Most people think you write a column from what you know, but the truth is that writing is a process of discovery. I find out all kinds of things about myself from writing.

Anyway. I realized that I like tradition. Me, who chafed at the bit about being Beachy Amish and all these idiotic traditions like solid color dresses that were not based on Scripture and didn't let you express your unique individuality. Well, if I needed to I could go back to wearing solid color cape dresses if that was where I felt like I was supposed to be. Not a big deal no more.

I like doing things because we've always done them like this. Birthday suppers, the fourth of July parade, hymns in church, taking turns making breakfast, watching movies with my sister. Traditions are good.

I try to keep up with the blogs of young people I know and am astonished sometimes at the energy and forward-thinking and strap on the sword and conquer the world stuff there. Well, good for them, but I am too tired for this. They get frustrated beyond enduring that the church rules say, among other things, no moustaches. It's all tradition and doesn't make sense and there's no Scripture to back it up and let's change it.

Well, I'm too tired to worry about church rules and change and conquering the world. Maybe when you've lost a nephew to suicide and nursed a daughter through a winter of West Nile Fever and adopted a child and watched your parents get old and coached your kids through teenage-hood and tried to keep a few lives around you from imploding, you just need a safe place to crash every Sunday, where things don't change and you feel something safe and solid beneath your feet.

I don't want to stagnate! the kids proclaim on their Xangas. I want life and fresh air and growth! I don't want to be complacent and old and tired.

Oh my. That's why I feel old. Complacent and stagnating sounds pretty attractive right now.

Quote of the Day:
(discussing tradition)
Emily: People have a fear of change!
Paul: No, it gives stability to life.

13 comments:

  1. hmmmm...
    see, i am also tired. not in the same way as you, seeing that i have no kids or any of the other stuff you talked about. but i am actually tired most of the time.
    but. whenever i think about church, and the problems therein, it makes me feel MORE tired, and not secure in the least.

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  2. i don't mean to say that our church is all problems. that's what my comment looked like, sorry, that's not what i meant. there is some good stuff, not found anywhere else, in our church.
    from your post, it looks like the *good, fun* traditions to which you refer are just that: fun stuff into which you are invited or invite others. there is the element of choice to participate. i think the *bad* traditions are ones that are requirements, forced on everyone, in order to be part of an organization. (now i'll shut up and wait for the people who want to say that you actually 'choose' to do that stuff [like the mustache rule] when you become a member of the church)
    i hope no one gets offended, but that is actually the way i see it.

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  3. Was it Karl Marx who said, "Tradition enhances solidarity?" It does, no doubt. Family and church traditions draw us together. Therefore, some traditions are good and they give us a feeling of security. They enhance our solidarity with those we love. Yet, as qwert said there are some traditions not based on God's Word that may need to be changed. How i long, as Amy Carmichael did, to be growing spiritually till the day i die. She said in her poem, "The Last Defile", "Let us die climbing." i know "tired" too since i am a pastor's wife/missionary wife/mother of six sons. But, oh ladies, let us die climbing! Jesus, please give us all we need to do so. cathy

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  4. And you're not even 50 yet Dorcas! Trust me, it gets worse! (The tiredeness, complacency, wanting to hang onto old traditions, and actually enjoying big, friendschaft reunions! I know, you didn't talk about the last one, but that slips in there too!)~ribbit98

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  5. This has been a question in my mind for some time: Why is it that the same (or similar)traditions many conservatives seem strain at the bit about are the very things that drew us to this way of life?

    No, the Bible does not say a solid colored cape dress or suspended broadfalls are a must. I do not believe Jesus wore suspenders, BUT the Bible talks of modesty and being separate from the world. Things we never were taught in the evangelical churches, bur we have to come to see are Biblical.

    We do we wish to tread the ground of the world, trampling on the work of Christ, just to be rid of the "chains" of tradition.

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  6. I've been lurking here for awhile, but I have to comment this time because... I was sitting here at the desk, engrossed in this post and the comments. My two-year-old was standing on the chair behind me when I heard an ominous "crunch". He had grabbed some scissors and took a little chunk out of my hair!

    The moral of the story: 1)don't read blogs while your toddler is running loose. or 2) i should still be wearing my hair in a bun as was my "tradition" long ago!:-)

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  7. no, the Bible doesn't say to wear solid colored cape dresses and broad falls, but i firmly believe that i can be separate from the world without them. is it worse to go to one extreme to try to stay away from another? i think that we can just as easily stand separate from the world by wearing a brilliant smile on our face that comes from Jesus being in our hearts. i also believe that you can be just as modest in a nice denim skirt and t-shirt as in a solid color cape dress. but then that's just my opinion.
    hazzardcountygirl

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  8. Um, just so you all know, I see here the possibility of a noisy discussion on what we should or should not wear, and I am too old and tired to supervise it. Let's all wear what God calls us to wear and love each other with a pure heart fervently. (haz-co-girl, what you said was fine, I just didn't want anyone to get up in arms in return)

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  9. This was a great post! It is so true that our perspective of the little things, which turn into big things if we let them, end up being quite minor in the light of eternity. Let's keep our thoughts and minds toward our end goal- Heaven! It will be worth it all!

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  10. I like traditions and I'm only 31. I'm also ribbit98's daughter (so you can play the Menno game).:) I'm also tired most days with taking care of three little ones so I was comforted to know that someone else goes to church and needs a safe place to crash. Which is hard to do at a church full of university students that are full of life and ready to change the world but I love them anyway. Ah yes, I love reading your blog and am going back and reading all your posts-when are you going to put them all in a book? You just have a way of expressing things that when I read what you wrote I think "yes, that is what I would say if I could write". You really should make some money doing this. Crystal at moneysavingmom.com has a series on blogging http://www.moneysavingmom.com/search/label/Money-Making%20Monday
    You and boomama.net keep me sane! My children thank you!:)

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  11. I'm an evangelical who, early this year, decided to join my Jewish friend in weekly Torah readings and observe some of the Jewish holidays. I have visted Jewish websites and read Vols. 1 and 2 of Anne Rice's fictionalized accounts of Jesus' life. Although I can understand how we are free from being saved by works and we don't gauge our spirituality by all the laws and rules we follow - I have found myself wistful for the structure and solidarity that traditions create. I felt something special and holy when I lit the Hanukah candles and thought of all the people, all the world over, lighting theirs as well. I've started trying to make more of a tradition out of little things like keeping the Sabbath, being more quiet, avoiding electronic distractions, etc. We may chafe at traditions (esp. in our youth) but remember, God himself commanded the Jews to observe the rules and the holidays because he knew we humans are all too prone to forget unless we are constantly reminded.

    Excellent post. I enjoyed the varying viewpoints from your commenters.

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  12. Seems to me modesty and the kind of clothes a person should wear..differs from person to person and group to group. Plain solid cape dresses to some people.. would be very overly conservative and to the next person, might be "liberal". And I do think we all tend to judge everything by where we are in life. So to hazzardgirl: Yea to you, a jean skirt and shirt is modest but to someone else it might not be....and to someone else altogether...you might look very backwards and conservative... herein is the need for tolerance among all of us, whether we wear the cape dresses or jean skirts or a sari.

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  13. Yes, traditions do give a kind of security, but what I enjoy the most is knowing that God is there to change the world through us, we can only do what we think is best and then let God handle the rest. I love the solidarity of traditions but I also love learning new things. I think God put both things in the world for us to think about and enjoy :) Great comments

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