Wednesday, December 03, 2008


On Sunday I was talking with Konrad and Shannon, who are expecting their fourth child. Already, Konrad said, they are getting the standard-issue comments: "Haven't you figured out what causes this? How many are you going to have?" plus all the hostile looks and attitudes.

Now, Konrad and Shannon are among the most dedicated, responsible, fun parents I have ever seen. And their kids are the kind that make you say awwwww because they are just so cute. If anyone should have a big family, they should. Plus Shannon has low-maintenance pregnancies.

So it makes me sad to think of anyone disparaging them about having more children.

Then yesterday Emily was telling me about the featured weblog on Xanga. "I know you would have cried if you'd read it," she said. In essence, it was a woman telling of how she was young and pregnant, with high hopes of her boyfriend going through this tough time with her, and being a family, etc. Then one day he told her he had made a doctor appointment for her, and she felt so cared-for. He took her over to the "doctor," dropped her off, and left. And of course it was an abortion clinic, and she was too shell-shocked to protest, and her little girl was taken from her body, and now she gets to live with this every day of her life.

Obviously, this girl was exploited for the selfish purposes of others from the beginning of her story to the end, but that is a post for another day.

Meanwhile, this situation has a connection with Konrad and Shannon's.

Somehow, as a culture and even a church, we have become oblivious to the value of children.

Quote of the Day:
"If I'm going to have children, I want to have a lot. Big families are just so much more interesting. Plus, I want their children to have cousins."


  1. I saw that blog title, but wasn't sure about reading it.

    That really is sad how people make those comments. I heard a few during my last pregnancy.

  2. Yes. Even families say this to each other. We have the largest family by far & got so many negative comments from our families, though thankfully the grandparents adored each child once it was here so I never understood why they weren't happy he or she was coming.

  3. You make me feel good. We are married 3.5 years and are expecting #3. I too have had low maintance pregnancies and love being with child. The down side is it gets hard to be excited when people discourage you with comments such as "So close together?" "Your not going to have anymore are you?" "You know there are ways to keep your kids further apart in age!" and more. We veiw children as a blessing. Thank you for sharing this, it helps knowing I am not alone.

  4. When people see me with my four, I am often asked if I am planning on more. I am always amazed at how strangers think they have a right to your life. I just chuckle to myself when people(mostly older women)see my twins(who look nothing alike) and ask very condescendingly how far apart they are. The looks I get when I say 4 minutes are priceless. I can tell they think they are less than a year apart and are sizing me up.

    I was scared to have so many kids and used to tell my sister, who also has 4, better her than me. Now I don't know what I would do without all of them.

    I don't know if it's because I'm in the south or what, but there is a trend around here of bigger families. My friends have at least 3, but most have 4 or more.

  5. I think it follows with "comparing ourselves with others". Do I really care what others think when I come to church wearing maternity clothes and it's number 7! In a sick way I like there looks of shock, and words of wisdom like, "how old are you"!
    (Indicating I am to old for this!)

  6. I love Emily's observation about families - she is right on. I hope she finds a fellow who shares her enthusiasm!

    We had five children and also had those comments directed our way "don't you know what causes it?" Actually, it was so bad that when I was pg with #5 I shopped at the city - 25 miles distant - where I was a stranger to most and I never heard those nasty comments. Then fast forward several years - one day our entire family was at ther mall walking along. People stared at us and some asked "are those all your children?"

    "Yes, ma'am!"

    "You have a beautiful family!"

    "Thanks!" and I smiled.


  7. I enjoyed your blog on children...I think if we are not careful we can get caught up in that mode also. Children are a blessing and I am so grateful for the 6 God has chosen to bless us with . 4 through birth and 2 through adoption. Age 2 - 17 years it makes people look when we go to a resturant and they actually behave themselves:-) (it makes me look too when they behave) My hubby came from a family with 18 children and his mom never would have gave anyone away. Dorcas I talked to you this summer at BMA was interesting to hear you talk about depression and adoption. I didnt know what was wrong with me, but humbly enough I too have to say I was in the depths of despair. But PTL I have pulled through that hopefully a better person.

  8. However, neither is it safe to assume that if a couple has only one or two that it was "planned" that way. My hats are off to large families!! I grew up in a family of twelve--there was never a dull moment. I am sure that there were constant challenges in having so many. We dearly love the one daughter God gave us. Raising an only child has it own sets of challenges and rewards.

  9. At my 35th year class reunion we were the only couple with a child at home yet (let alone under the age of 10!). When a class member asked publicly, "Don't you know what causes it?" I simply replied, "Yes, and I'd be more than glad to share the secret." I loved the shocked silence, followed finally by an outburst of laughter.

  10. Amen amen and amen. In this world we need more people like Konrad and Shannon who believe children are an inheritance from the Lord. I always wanted to have a large family, but pregnancies have proved difficult for me. However after having a hard time with this last pregnancy (getting pregnant). I told my husband that it makes me more than ever thankful for the gift of children and I want to have as many as I can even if it means throwing up for nine whole months.

  11. Emily's comment brought tears to my eyes. I grew up without cousins to enjoy, or siblings to fight with. May her wishes come true.

  12. We have 5 children (4 married) and love everyone of them. Now the grandkids have been coming in bunches (we had 3 within 2 weeks 4 years ago)and we're so thrilled for everyone of them. We are expecting #12 and 13 now and it is so fun to see how excited all of them are to see each other! And the older ones can hardly wait until the 3 from Ethiopia come back in Feb.
    I remember several incidents where I was told 'God bless you' or 'your children are so well behaved' when we would traipse onto a plane or into a restaurant with our 5 and I wasn't quite sure if what that meant?! Blessings to all parents who are having babies - who better to bring children into the world than Christians? Sharon Friesen