Monday, January 02, 2012

Name, Book, and Cat

Ever since I posted about my name I've been having these odd conversations about it.

Like the other day I bought cat food at Kmart and handed the my-age-ish cashier my credit card.

She squinted at it and said, "Is this your husband's card?"

"I don't think so. Can I see it?" "No, that's mine."

She said, still squinting, "But, this first name on here..."

I said, "Yes. That's Dorcas. It's my name. It's from the Bible."

She smiled and nodded and said, "Ahh."

+ + + + +

Today was the last day of the children's Christmas break. Jenny sat here reading Upstairs the Peasants are Revolting. It was very gratifying to get her take on it now and then. At one point she made an odd noise.
Me: What?
Jenny: Nothing. I just sighed.
Me: Why?
Jenny: It was a happy sigh.
Me: About what?
Jenny: Never mind. You'll just have to read the book.

+ + + + +

I went shopping at Grocery Depot on Saturday and found a little bottle off by itself of something called CONTENT-EZE. It featured a picture of a nice yellow cat and this description: "A Nutritional Supplement Which Supports Feeling Of Contentment In Your Cats"
and "Contains Amino Acids To Help Your Cat Feel Content."

Oh my! Should I get it for Ebenezer the Yowling Kitty, who was still yowling after a week and about whom I confess I had done a discreet internet search for easy, cheap, painless, humane, clean, do-it-yourself euthanasia methods, since I was convinced it was suffering from stomach cancer.

[Note: there are no such methods, and if you ask such a question on a Yahoo forum, you will get attacked. Viciously. From people who would like to euthanize YOU, in a very painful and unpleasant manner.]

The bottle was marked $2 and I qualified for a 10% discount because of Emily working there.

Feeling like a person who would buy little fleece jackets for her shih tzu, I bought it, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

The directions said, "SHAKE GENTLY BEFORE USE."

I figured the cat would yowl even worse if I shook it, gently or not, so Jenny and I fixed a dish of leftover tetrazini, gently squirted a teaspoon of CONTENT-EZE on top, and fed it to Ebenezer.

Who quit yowling.

I am serious.

We repeat the dosing daily, just in case.

I am wondering if I could discreetly pinch some CONTENT-EZE for myself. I mean, my children have been scattering to the winds after all being home for Christmas, and I have done a bit of yowling myself. 1 teaspoon per 11 pounds of cat. I can do the math.


  1. SURE you can do the math? You wouldn't do it for me!!
    And are you sure it wasn't the tetrazini that squelched the yowling? I mean, that would work for ME. (but then a cup of tea and a candy cane will do it for me too, most days).

  2. Ha ha, KB, I loved your idea of using the cat-calmer yourself but I wasn't about to ask how much you weigh. if you feel led to tell me, I'd be happy to do the math for you too.

  3. Do all wild cats have that insane yowl? One of the boys found a homeless feline who promptly died from overeating after a starvation diet. That yowl and wild look in it's eyes.... now if it was a human, my compassion would prevail.

  4. Funny! "They" make things like "nerve tincture" and "ladies formula" here in PA if you seriously need content-eze. I suggest chocolate, a good book (I've read this really interesting author who lives in Oregon), and a cup of Kenyan tea. Oh, and a snuggle with your husband and whichever child may be home at the moment may help too.
    Sarah S

  5. Sarah--great ideas there,LOL, although I've read that author from Oregon and couldn't finish the book--"What was she THINKING, writing about such dumb details??" but I like the tea/snuggling/chocolate ideas. I'll have to look into "nerve tincture" as well.
    Margaret--can't answer your question but I can tell we've experienced the same catty shrieking. Terrible.

  6. Cracks me up. Was just wondering if it worked on people. I find, however, that coffee does the trick for me, especially if I'm AT a coffee shop where NO one is yowling and NO one is asking my weight.

    The yowlers, see, stay at home, pillaging the pantry with no worries at all about their weight. That way, we're all content. :):)

  7. *giggling* Too funny about the cat! I had to read that part out loud to my husband who got a hearty laugh out of it too :)

  8. My husband just showed me his Bible notes for the name Tabitha / Dorcas. I learned that it means "gazelle." How cool is that!?!

  9. Yes, "Blessed," very cool. I am not very gazelle-like but then I learned that the Greeks extrapolated one gazelle-like quality and the name meant 'girl with large, dark eyes.' Well, I over-qualify there. So that was cool.
    Rhonda--funny how your answers to life so often circle back to the coffee shop. We need to discuss this sometime. In person.

  10. Yes, amen. Down at the - well, you know.