Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Chivalry, Part II

First, a joke:
An engineer is walking along and he sees a frog. The frog says, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful woman and I’ll go on a date with you."
The engineer picks up the frog, sticks it in his pocket, and walks on.
The frog hollers, "If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful woman and I’ll date you for a long time."
The engineer walks on.
The frog says, "If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful woman and I’ll marry you."
The engineer walks on.
The frog calls, "Hey, why don’t you kiss me?"
The engineer says, "I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for girls. But a talking frog? Now that’s cool."

# # # # # #

Matt is an almost-19-year-old engineering student who knows he is years away from having the time, money, and maturity to court a girl.

This, however, does not diminish his fascination with girls as a species. He enjoys getting to know girls, he says, but there aren’t that many girls in the church youth group and his pre-engineering classes are nearly all male.

I remind him that he does have three sisters and a mom, all of whom are female, very familiar with the female mind, and a great resource for learning how the species functions.

In fact, I tell him, he ought to practice-date with his sisters. Take them bowling or out to Olive Garden for a nice dinner. They could coach him on his manners and clothes and he could get some practice ordering foreign-language food and opening car doors and making conversation.

He could even take his mom out on a date!

This, I assure him, would be a gold-star item on his resume’ when the time comes that he seriously pursues a girl.

He is skeptical. His sisters, I suspect, still seem like sisters and not Real Girls. Plus, he says, he can’t afford it.

I still think it’s a good idea.

So, if there are any young, single women out there, please let me know: Would it or would it not impress you if a guy took his mom or sister on a date?

Quote of the Day:
"How does Dorcas do it? She has six children and half of them are teenagers!"
--Geneva, the cheerleader sister-in-law

14 comments:

  1. On Chivalry part 1: I like it when guys are gentlemen, and I don't think it means they're interested in me. I know some girls over-react like that, but lots more of us merely appreciate the kind gesture.
    On chivalry part 2: I never gave it too much thought, but I think(as a single young woman) I'd be impressed if a guy took his mother or sisters out on a "date". It shows much thoughtfulness, and that's important.
    Of course as sisters, we aren't "real girls" but I wonder if our brothers take our advice to heart more than they care to admit?? At least, MY brother pretends not to care, but I'm trying to train him up right anyway. :)
    ~lollyjane

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  2. I always admire guys who treat their moms and sisters with love and chivalry. I figure that if they treat them well, they'll treat their wife well even after 50 years of marriage.
    Recently I overheard a conversation between a sixteen year old boy and another man (I don't remember his age). The man was feeling sorry for the boy since he had four sisters and no brothers. The boy assured him that he didn't have it so bad since he could learn to understand women better than if he had four brothers!
    Karen

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  3. I'm not a girl, but I have to add my ten cents' worth. I truly admire chivalrous and gentlemanly behavior in men and boys. I must admit I don't always fit the description, as my sisters, mother, and wife could unfortunately tell you, but I am learning. Chivalry used to be the standard in the South, but in these days, it has become a rusty trait of older, refined men primarily. I think it's a shame.

    I think taking sister or mother out is a great idea, provided the female in question knows how to conduct herself as a LADY! No brother is going to want to do that if he has ever been embarrassed in public by his sister or mother. As our sister has said, "Men need to be the kind that rush to open doors, and ladies must be the kind that make men want to open doors." Or something like that.

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  4. It is said that a man will treat his wife as he treats his mother. What a better person to practice on? Great idea! Love it! I especially like the part of taking sisters on a date. I have a sixteen year old brother. I think I'll encourage him to do that. I'm thinking free food, free bowling, free.......yeah, I love the idea. Actually, he does extremely well with his ladies. He never had a chance though, having four older sisters and only one brother who moved to another state when he was quite young. Yep, girls are gonna want this one. He opens doors, he extends his arm when there is ice without "being told", he.......

    Chivalry still exists to a small degree and I am a supporter of it!

    Ag

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  5. Oh and I had to laugh when you described Matt's fascination with the female species. My brother is REALLY a teenager and quite fascinted with the opposite gender. I was talking one day about Bible School and I wondered if there are any "all girl" Bible Schools anywhere. I said if there would be, I would go. He looked up, grinned and said, "Yeah, I would too!"

    Ag

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  6. Tell Matt that would really impress me! And actually, I've been on a date with my youngest brother (19)! His idea...NICE restaurant...heart talk...even shared a dessert. It was great!!

    Crystal

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  7. ag says: "he extends his arm when there is ice without 'being told'"

    I always try to be a gentleman and open doors for ladies, let them have a seat on the subway, let them sit on the couch, etc... but there's something about offering my arm to a lady, especially one close to my age, that seems quite... like I'm showing a romantic interest. Now I certainly would do it for an older lady or for my mom or my sisters, but a girl my age... maybe it has something to do with being a "proper Mennonite." =)

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  8. Oh hogwash on the proper Mennonite bit! If that is the case, throw the laws of "Mennoniteness" that you know out the window. I'm not suggesting that you sling your arm into the face of any girl you meet, but if it is in order, don't let age stop you! If she gets ideas, that is her problem. The way a lady responds is "her problem". Your problem is to see to it that you are the gentleman that you need to be regardless of the circumstances.

    Ag

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  9. Oh I love the passion, Ag! You are right on that it needs to be the girl's problem should she get any ideas from a kind, gentlemanly gesture.

    Karen

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  10. Oh Karen, I fear my "passion" is exceedingly and abundantly above that which it should be. I am trying to be "less passionate". No, let me rephrase that, without passion, I cease to exist. I strive to not allow my "passion" to rule over my common sense. I gotta put the reins on it!!!!

    I love to meet a gentleman! I love to feel like a lady. I love to be escorted, assisted, and "pampered" to the extreme. Yet, I love to be able to "take care of" myself. The funny thing is that those two things never contradict each other. They play together quite well and it doesn't seem like it should.

    Ag

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  11. I(as a single young woman) would have to say that i would be quite impressed if a guy took his mother/sisters out on a "date(s)" it shows great respect, caring,and love for his mother/sisters. And as has already been said "the way a guy treats his mother/sisters is the way he will treat his wife."

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  12. Six children and three of them teenagers? Try seven with almost six of them being teenagers. Couldn't be better. Wonderful resources!

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  13. This post and comment thread has been an inspiration to me (and others thru me). I was in KS with my grandparents the other week. They were having revival/pre-ordination meetings by Elmer Smucker. Every evening I would open the car & church doors for Grandma. It was funny, becuase after a couple of nights, Grandpa started doing it too!

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  14. Good job. Keep it up. Go forward and be well-mannered.
    Be courteous.
    Be polite.
    Be respectful.
    Be a gentleman who remains as such despite any circumstance that arises.

    Ag

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