Thursday, July 16, 2009

Moms Know Everything

One of my favorite answers to the children’s perpetual questions of “Humph, how do you know [I’ll get a stomachache/hurt her feelings/end up in jail]?” or “Hey, how did you know [I was out on the porch roof/eating peanut butter straight from the jar with my fingers/staying up late]?” was “Because moms know everything.”

Hey, I had my ways.

I don’t try it on Matt any more, of course, but the other night I demonstrated the truth of it anyway.

I was reading my blog comments late one evening when there was a random comment from an anonymous source telling me that Matt got stopped by the Corvallis police a few nights before. “I heard it on the scanner,” said Anonymous.

I did what any mom would do: immediately called him up. “Matt? Why were you pulled over the other night?”

“Because my left headlight was burned out. . . but. . . HOW DID YOU KNOW???”

I told him.

He said, “Man, that was weird. I mean, it was at night, and I don’t think anyone saw me, and I can’t think of anyone we’d both know in Corvallis, and I hadn’t told a soul about it!”

Heh heh. See? I was right. Moms really do know everything.

Quote of the Day:
Last spring, after the ACE convention. The Smuckers are at the breakfast table:
Jenny: Ben, what did it feel like to be on the all-star Pace Bowl team?
Ben: That's not really an answerable question.
Jenny: Hey Ben?
Ben: Jenny, this is a breakfast table, not an interrogation room!
[pause] [Jenny doesn't want to finish her hash browns.]
Ben: How about she has to take as many bites as she asked me questions this morning?


  1. Hehehe! I am the girl that posted the original comment. When I heard his name on there, I said to my friend/roommate "Wow! That is Matt Smucker! That's the oldest son of Dorcas Smucker, the lady I am always reading!" and she said "really?" and I said "yes! that cop better let him off easy!"
    To me, it was like hearing a celebrity being stopped by the police!

    P.S: whenever I am in stores in the area and I see a nice Mennonite family, I always check to see if its yours, and if not, I always want to ask one of them if they know the Smuckers.