Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Emily's Adventures

My Amish background was good in many ways but as I have mentioned before it left me with a sack of Shame that I carry around with me to this day. So, God with his incomprehensible sense of humor sent me my daughter Emily.

Sunday evening after church we were almost the last ones to leave. I went looking for the children, and out by the road I saw some activity that turned out to be Emily and her friend Stephanie Coblentz perched in their matching skirts (sky blue with monkeys in banana canoes) on top of the church sign, their dangling legs obscuring the message of the week (If you want to make something of your life, give it to God). Both girls were hooting and laughing as I drove up in the car. I thought, Oh no.

They hopped off the sign and came over to the car, "We were sitting up there singing songs and waving at people. A lot of church people went by and they waved and laughed, and Konrad even stopped and asked if he could have a milkshake and fries. And then these people from Brownsville would go by and they’d honk and smile and wave."

I thought, oh Lord have mercy, why is it always the minister’s children making a spectacle of themselves? The girls got in the car, still laughing.

Me: Emily, I have no pride left. None. Do you realize that when I was your age my entire life was framed by these parameters of Don’t show off, Don’t draw attention to yourself, and most of all What Will People Think?? And then God sent me you.
Emily: But Mom, we were up there greeting people, welcoming them to our church!
Me: Oh please.
Emily: Just be glad you have a child that’s broken the bonds of tradition!
Me: Oh please.
Emily: Um, Stephanie…my mom has a blog.
Stephanie: Oh No!
Stephanie: Actually, I like it when people write about me.
Emily: Actually, I do too.
Me: Amy, did you hear what those girls were doing? (Knowing that this calm and reliable child will sympathize with me)
Amy: Emily, if you do it again, tell me ahead of time and I’ll join you.
Me: Oh forevermore. I give up. I just give UP.
The worst thing about this Amish baggage of mine is that it makes it so hard to discern if this kind of behavior is actually wrong or just embarrassing.

Quote of the Day:
"Well, then I guess I get the metatarsals."
--Ben, after Jenny announced that she’s having the heel of the fresh-baked loaf of bread


  1. Dear Dorcus,

    Hey I like your Blog. I also noticed that you are interested in Christian philanthropy and stewardship. Check out my Blog on Christian philanthropy at .


  2. This post had me grinning. I'm a PK myself.


  3. hey Dorcas--your daughter Emily and I are not on good terms:)--she did the unforgivable today--I'm sure you will agree--she showed me a dead snake at school when I went to pick the girls up--she was quite gleeful about it--sitting by the road at church is funny--this was not!!! :)I shall be thinking of a good one to get on her--you shall have to help me!!!!Steph will be delighted that she made your blog--tell Emily I waiting to make my move---

  4. Laughing out loud...Sounds like your girls are delightful.
    I am intrigued by the banana all the matching skirts or dresses I've made, I never thought of monkeys!!
    ~Laura J.

  5. Yikes a snake!!!! Don't anyone EVER do that to me..or you will have to call 911!! ~Shiver~~~

  6. But I will have to admit...I would have LOVED to see Sharon scream... Now aren't I nice?!!

  7. Sharon, dust and ashes about my daughter's dastardly deed. You have my blessing to get her back ten-fold...A dead snake is inexcusable.

  8. Shame on you Arlene for wanting to see me scream---like I've said before-who needs enemies w/ friends like mine!!:)As for Emily--my mind is at work and I shall get her when she least expects it--any ideas? Steph was thrilled to put it mildly to be a part of your blog. A definite new day and age from when we grew up--:)

  9. Sharon--
    Hmmmmmm...well, Emily is very easy to surprise (as in jumping out at her from somewhere) and if you grab her in the process she just about plasters herself on the ceiling.

  10. I shall definetly give that some thought!!!She deserves anything that happens is my opinion!!! I must wait until she is the least expecting it--don't you agree!!!:)

  11. well Sharon, whatever you do to me I'll never forget the way you threw your hands into the air and screamed like that.

  12. Hi. Sharon Coblentz tuned me into your blog. I have been blogging for two years now. Mrs. Darling is my blogname. I created a new identity because of trouble with some politicians in the Portland area over my stance on gay marriage. I went undercover at that point and now blog as Mrs. Darling, deriving my name from Peter Pan. Wendys parents in that story are The Darlings.
    In reality I am Tammy Swartzendruber Jata, cousin to your sis in law Bonnie. Byron is my childrens third cousin. I think you know my brother Scott and my sister Robin.

    I've pretty much read your entire weblog and have enjoyed it very much. I read seeveral entrys to Robin who is now in Walla Walla Wa. We laughed over all your kids mishaps and funny quotes.I have your book Ordinary Days and read it one sitting on the airplane last November.

    Feel free to come on over to Home Fires and browse around.

  13. I see that the old anabaptist issue of not being noticed is still in vogue with you. Seems that certain age groups among us can't quite shake that training!

    Your daughter Emily is a riot! May she always seek out new visitors in church, we do not do this enough as Mennonites. It is like we have to see someone a few times until we approach them with a welcome! Must be more open and interested in new people in order to increase the fellowship.

    Dear Sister, drop that 'bag of Shame' and share in the wonderful fellowship that your daughter is enjoying. 'Out of the mouths of babes' and all that it instructs us.

    That Eve was deceived by a snake is still obvious by the reaction to Emily's show and tell. Me thinks that the daughters of Eve still find snakes a threat! ENJOYED this post, may God bless all.

  14. I'm sure that "Signing for the Lord" meets His approval. I was one of those who honked.

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