Saturday, November 01, 2008

My Great Talent

"Brent chose you specifically for the job," said my friend Rita. "You were the best," said a couple of others.

Perhaps if I were a better person, or something, I would be chosen for my great beauty and applauded for my great musical talent, or something.

But such is not the case.

Last night the church youth and their sponsors put on a lovely haystack dinner for all the parents and siblings of the youth kids. After the dinner, we were told, there would be games. So we tried to guess song titles from short phrases from stanza 2, and the little kids tried to find balloons while blindfolded.

And then about six of us were asked to go to the church library and wait, and we would be called in one by one. I was one of the victims. We stood around the library and talked about what dreadful fate might await us, and threatened to all jump out the window and disappear.

After a long wait, Brent came in the door. "Dorcas, you're first," he said. Oh great. I followed him to the fellowship hall. On this side was everyone, watching and smiling expectantly. On the other side was a long line of tables, covered in the tablecloths from supper, with six large paper sacks turned upside down, all in a row.

"Ok, now we're going to time you," Brent told me. "You need to lift up each sack and name the object underneath, as fast as you can."

First sack, a couple of leaves. Second, the names escaped me, and then I remembered: knife, fork, spoon. Third, ketchup. So far, so good. Fourth--and my insides turned to slush and an unholy scream ripped out of my throat as there was a head, yelling at me. Oh people, I cannot tell you how frightening it was. It took me a minute to collect myself and then with wobbling legs and pounding heart I tottered to the chairs and collapsed gratefully while the crowd shrieked with laughter.

It turned out that Travis was actually kneeling on the floor between two tables, and the tablecloths had been artfully arranged, etc etc. The other victims' reactions ranged from a startled shriek (Phebe) to no reaction at all (Michael, who saw that there was a gap between tables and figured it out.) Last of all came Edna, who knew all along what was going on, and who lifted Travis's bag and slapped a pan of whipped cream on his head.

So, yes. I was chosen because Brent and Rita knew for sure that I would scream. And I was complimented for screaming the loudest.


Quote of the Day:
"You were funny, Mom."
--Ben and Jenny
(now that I've calmed down, I can see that it probably was funny)

2nd QOTD:
"I would have put one of the pastahs undah theah."
--Jenny's friend Janane, who has trouble with R's and who has always been half scared of Paul


  1. Funny, funny story. I probably would have screamed, too. We had an exciting evening. We ate at a Mexican restaurant.

  2. After 5 kids, did you need new underwear too? (I would have.)

  3. and don't you think, after all, that seeing travis get his face plastered with whipped cream was DEFINITELY worth being scared over?? ;-)

  4. karabeagle: no (thank God)
    qwert: yes

  5. Aren't you thankful we are entertained by so little? We could have asked you to sing, or make a speech, or stand on your head, or something awful. Instead you only had to scream to entertain us all! Pauline