Thursday, November 01, 2007

Sales Pitch for Young Men

My SIL Geneva worked at Meier and Frank, a nice clothing/home furnishings store well above my means, for a number of years. It was very entertaining, at our Christmas dinners, to hear her tell about the customers on Christmas Eve.

Toward evening on December 24th was when the young men came wandering into the store, she said. Invariably they needed a gift for a mom or a girlfriend, or both. Invariably they had no idea what to get. And invariably when Geneva said, "Well, what size is she?" they said, "Oh, about like you."

Geneva is 5 feet tall and probably a size 4.

So Geneva would gently ask a few more questions and steer them toward an appropriate gift.
Since Christmas is next month(!), I have an idea for all the procrastinating young men out there: get your mom a copy of one or both of my books, Ordinary Days and Upstairs the Peasants are Revolting.

Moms are far and away my most numerous customers, and even the ones that don’t read much have been known to read these because they consist of a bunch of stand-alone chapters that can be read one at a time over a cup of coffee.

You can buy them online here and here. Or ask for them at a bookstore.

Or you can order from me and get an autographed copy. They are $10 plus $2 shipping each. And here’s the November/December special: if you get two or more copies, they’re $9 each. If you get five or more copies sent to one address, shipping is free. (U.S. only) If you like, I can mail the book(s) directly to your mom.

Mail a check to:
Dorcas Smucker
31148 Substation Drive
Harrisburg, OR 97446

I don’t know if a girlfriend would like one of my books or not. I think I’d suggest perfume or fancy coffee or chocolates instead.

(Matt: just so you know, you can always buy me a gift card from one of the espresso stands in Harrisburg or that one by the Shell station on 228)

Quote of the Day:
"I'm really glad my skin grows with my body, because snakes have to shed their skin and I'm glad I don't."
--Jenny

6 comments:

  1. Um, Dorcas? I highly recommend you get your eyes checked. I am so NOT a size four! But thanks, you really made my week.
    -geneva

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  2. Jenny,
    You are so funny! But actually, I WOULD like to shed my skin for a new, much younger looking one !!!

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  3. SuEllen Yoder11/02/2007 5:43 AM

    Absolutely any Mom would like these books, I read them in the last couple of months. Acually it only took me a week or so to read them:) Very entertaining, I laughed out loud and had to read parts of it out loud to my husband. My favorite one is the quilter who told her customer that there is a tradition of one mistake per quilt to keep her humble, hence covering up a mistake that really shouln't be there at all:)
    Even if you are not a man you should buy these for your Mom, sister, friend, and yourself!
    SuEllen

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  4. If you link to Amazon, you should get your own Amazon Associates account so that you get commission. If you don't want to go to the bother, you could at least include mine. =) (See below.)

    Ordinary Days
    Upstairs the Peasants Are Revolting

    But seriously, you really should get an account. You could stick some sweet looking boxes on your sidebar that link to Amazon with your commission ID, with which you will receive a 4-8.5% commission.

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  5. Dorcas, I did purchase your new book with the intention of giving it to my Mom for Christmas. However, after reading it (yes, you must read a book before giving it as a gift, just to make sure it's worth giving), I decided that I couldn't wait until Christmas. So I have already passed the book on to my Mom and she loved it. Jackie Olson (my Mom is your past 6th grade teacher Mrs. Olson).

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  6. Jackie Olson! I can't believe this. Thanks for stopping by and tell your mom a huge hi for me and that I have good memories of 6th grade.

    ReplyDelete