Sunday, January 17, 2010


"NOBODY else in the universe has to deal with such a bizarre situation." Or so I have told myself numerous times in the last year as I dealt with all the implications of having a daughter who can't come home to stay because being home makes her sick. I mean, that is just unheard of. I have never talked to anyone in a similar situation.

Most of the time you hear the opposite, which I have to admit would be even more heartbreaking: a daughter leaves home and doesn't want to come back.

In fact, a day or so before Emily left for Virginia I heard a sad song on the radio about a dad whose daughter is gone and he has this message on his answering machine--"I don't care where you've been, I don't care what you've done, I just want you to come home." Something like that. And he leaves the message on for years, hoping, and one day the daughter calls and hears it and comes back home.

Well, that would make me cry at the best of times but hearing it when Emily felt forced to leave and didn't want to, well, I really should buy stock in Kleenex.

However! It turns out that Emily isn't the first person in the universe to have to wander the earth, unable to come home. There's Cain, who ended up being a restless wanderer in the earth, but who deserved such a fate a lot more than she does, in my opinion. He had a mark on his forehead to keep people from killing him, and she thinks she has a mark that--what is it, Emz?--keeps people from offering her a job or something.

Then I borrowed Amy's copy of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South, and behold, we find Frederick. Here, Margaret (Frederick's sister) and her mother are talking--

"'And Frederick was in South America for several years, was he not?'
'Yes. And now he is in Spain. At Cadiz, or somewhere near it. If he comes to England he will be hung. I shall never see his face again, for if he comes to England he will be hung.'
There was no comfort to be given. Mrs. Hale turned her face to the wall, and lay perfectly still in her mother's despair. Nothing could be said to console her."

I find this oddly comforting, because at least there's no danger of Emily being hung if she comes to Oregon for a visit. Like, things could actually be worse.

Quote of the Day:
"I could not handle him. I would kill him. Or he would kill me. It's all a matter of who would get dead first."
--a dramatic (sweet, Christian) friend of Amy's, talking about her sister's husband


  1. You have a daughter who can't come home. Me too. My daughter lives overseas and will for years to come, most likely. She is young (23) and married to a man who has committed his working years to missions. I really appreciate your out-pouring of your feelings, tears and helps me so much to know I am not alone. Thanks.

  2. I guess That is how my mom feels sometimes

  3. Dorcas,
    I have a daughter who turns 17 this year and we have moved 4 times because of her becoming ill where we lived. We are now in a newer house and she has not had too many problems, but oh, when it happens-it is so hard for the whole family. We have had to stay in a hotel for 3 months while waiting to move into another home. There are so many things we need to share about this, but Thank the Lord, they are doing better now although I know you miss her. Please contact me and we can REALLY talk about this.
    Many Blessings,