Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The Petrified Pastor's Wife

October is Pastor's Appreciation Month, so last night our wonderful youth group and their sponsors (pause for applause) put on a lovely dinner for the ministers and their wives.

The evening included Bible charades with props that JD, king of swords and wigs and masks, had brought. He had also for some unknown reason included a rubber snake that ended up in a skit of the serpents biting the children of Israel and Moses lifting up the snake on the pole that they could look to and be healed.

We played our parts as prescribed and then returned to our lovely table for dessert and upbuilding conversation. I seldom feel like a proper minister's wife but I was really playing the role well then, I thought. Behaving myself, light conversation, nibbles of cheesecake.

And then Emily, my daughter, queen of drama and trauma, slid quietly up beside me and laid this coiled-up rubber snake on my arm. It was horrible. I screamed and leaped to my feet and lost all resemblance to a meek and quiet minister's wife. I shuddered and shook and was nearly in tears.

It was awful.

Paul dealt with Emily in his own time and way. You do not need details except to know that he really rose up in defense of his wife. (applause)

I hate snakes. I still love my daughter. I hope God sends her a daughter just like herself some day.

Quote of the Day:
"Uh...Mom...I think they heard you scream in California."
--Amy, who was in the kitchen at the time of the snake incident, when I asked if she had heard me scream clear back there


  1. Haha!

    I suppose you would be unhappy with me if I said, "Go Emily!", so I won't.

  2. "so I won't"
    Very wise of you, Hans. I would find some way to tell your mother!

  3. Oh Dorcas--as I said in my e-mail to you my sympathies are w/you!!I am sitting here shuddering as I type this thinking of the awfulness of it!!!! You poor thing!!Improper behavior it was not when so provoked!!!UGH!!!!

  4. i quite agree with the thought of sending our daughters..daughters just like them!!(I did have to laugh...sorry!)

  5. Oh, Dorcas, my friend Dorcas!
    You have a tongue twister there almost like Peter Piper picked a peck of peppers. A peck of peppers Peter Piper picked...

    If you don't want me to chuckle then you'd better not post it.

    I do love you and would love to have a cup of tea with you about right now. How about you come on over and we'll go to D&D's for a bagel and catch up.

  6. Gokum! I'd love to meet you for tea or a bagel. Love your cyber-handle.

  7. It is always a great comfort to know that a pastor's wife is human. I do sympathize with you though.

  8. Dorcas, you gotta watch people like gokum there - my esteemed mother may just be trying to lay a trap for you with the invitation to tea and all. She may try to give you a snake in the bagel or something *LOL*. Just kidding..... but seriously, doesn't it sound like something she'd try to do? I find out these really wild things about my mother from time to time, crazy stuff she doesn, and it just facinates me. Sorry about the loss of your pastor's wife dignity there!

  9. Hey, NOT TRUE, Ed... I would never think of stuff like!! (clearing throat)

    At least I didn't this time