Gratitude

First, let me say thanks to Donna who was the first to post a review on Amazon for me. Donna has had a special role as a mentor for younger women for many years. I first met her when we went to Canada in 1986 to teach at Stirland Lake High School. I had one baby and was as green as grass in motherhood and missions. We didn't work in the same area as Bob and Donna but whenever our paths crossed she had a subtle and beautiful way of encouraging me. She has also served as a counselor and in other areas of ministry, but she touched my life as a Titus 2 woman.

Donna has written four books. Order them here. Read them. They are good.

Second, thanks to God for his protection, sometimes in spite of ourselves. On Saturday Becky and I took the children to a park in Salem, where we met our brother Phil and his family. The boys and Jenny took their bikes along. Just before we left home we had a slightly heated exchange about taking helmets along, and I insisted that they take theirs even though Ben emphatically didn't want to.

At the park, we adults sat around the picnic table and the kids took off. Some time later, Zack and Steven came back on the two bikes. Far behind them came Ben, walking slowly. "Ben wiped out," Zack said offhandedly.

Well. It turned out they had been racing down an asphalt soap-box-car track and Ben's front wheel hit Zack's back wheel and he crashed. He had nasty scrapes on various joints. . . and a broken helmet.

"It would probably have been a concussion, at least," said Becky the nurse.

Quote of the Day:
"Thank you."

Up for Air

Whenever my sis Becky visits I enter this strange mental state where I am completely oblivious to the world around me and all I want to do is talk with her. I don't notice newspapers all over the floor, I forget to return phone calls, and getting packed up to go on a picnic takes almost more mental skills than I can muster.

Then she leaves. And I cry. And then it's like I come up for air after a long deep dive. Oh, mercy! Newspapers all over the living room! Jenny's clothes on the office floor! Rotting peaches in the pantry! Dying flowers that need watering!

It's time for to-do lists and schedules and catching up with my family. Time for reunion preps and sewing school clothes. Time for buying groceries.

In the last five days, Becky and I covered almost every topic imaginable, including the fact that we even dream alike--vague, frustrating dreams where we're back in high school and can't find the math room and we realize we're two weeks behind and the teacher's going to give a big test today. My twist on this is that in my dreams I also always have small children at home with no babysitter.

Becky left after church this evening with Byran, who's headed back to his life at Penn State, and Matt, who's going on a mission trip to Jamaica for two weeks. Since she couldn't make it to Leonard's funeral, Becky's going to spend a week in Minnesota now.

Quote of the Day:
"You look more like Dorcas than Dorcas does!"
--Heidi M, to Becky. It is flattering (to me) to be told that Becky and I talk alike, laugh alike, and look like twins, although no one ever put it quite like Heidi did.

Fun Stuff

Becky and I have been talking nonstop.

Last night we went on a bike ride.

Today we go garage saling.

Also, yesterday my book was ranked 66,803 on Amazon, the highest ever. (Hey, don't laugh, it's out of 4,000,000.) (Now, how can I get someone to post a review there?)

And it got mentioned on the blog of a woman in my writers' group.
(Hey, if you post a review on Amazon I'll mention you on my blog.)

And Robert Rhodes at the MWR said this:

Quote of the Day:
"By the way, the story on you is STILL No. 1 for the month so far, still plugging away on the MWR Internet hit parade. Clearly, someone out there is wondering what you are up to. Of course, there are a lot of Smuckers in our world, as you know so well. I just hope this will translate into book sales for you."

Becky is Here!

Last night I went to Portland and picked up my sister Becky. She lives in Yemen and wasn't able to make it to Leonard's funeral, so she came now and is spending 5 days with us before going to Minnesota.

So, for five days, my children won't have a mom and Paul won't have a wife.

Quote of the Day:
"This is Becky and Mom's schedule: 1:00--pretend to do something productive, talk. 2:00--talk. 3:00 talk. 4:00--talk. 5:00--talk. 6:00--eat half of your supper. talk."
--Emily

Cool Stats

Who would have thought Amazon would go to this much bother? They compiled a concordance for Ordinary Days, plus a few random statistics.

Concordance
These are the 100 most frequently used words in this book.
again almost always amy another aunt away baby bed came car cat change child children come creek dad daughter day door down emily family few find first found friends get girls give go going good got hand head home hours house husband ing jenny keep kitchen know last later left let life little long look love matt mom morning mother need new next night now old oregon own paul people phone put right road room saw school see sister something son still summer sure take tell things think thought three time told took two want water weeks went work years

Text Stats
These statistics are computed from the text of this book.

Readability
Compared with books in All Categories
9.2
25% are easier
75% are harder

Complexity
Complex Words:
8%
20% have fewer
80% have more

Syllables per Word:
1.5
23% have fewer
77% have more

Words per Sentence:
15.1
43% have fewer
57% have more

Number of
Characters:
207,624
30% have fewer
70% have more

Words:
37,440
33% have fewer
67% have more

Sentences:
2,478
37% have fewer
63% have more

Fun stats
Words per Dollar:
3,763

Words per Ounce:
5,571

Letter from Hburg

Today's Letter from Harrisburg is about my journey through grief.

Baling

The hot-water bottle in my chest (see July 11 post) gets punched at predictable times, such as weekly and monthly anniversaries, but also at completely random times.

Last night we had a bunch of boys here for Ben's birthday party. It seemed like about 50 but I think it was actually only ten. Paul took them camping down by the creek, thus earning some special reward in heaven, I hope.

This morning I was taking these boys home. Drennan informed me that his dad is "running the squeeze" down at the Malpass warehouse, so I can take him there and he'll ride with his dad. (The grass-straw-baling business involves both a 'squeeze' and a 'press.' I think before this stuff gets shipped to Japan it should also go through a 'hug', a 'pinch', and maybe a 'squish.')

Anyway, I drove Drennan to Malpass's, and there was the baling business in full production. Straw blew in the wind, big trucks stacked full of bales drove down the driveway, and Dean in his "squeeze" efficiently moved big cubes of stacked straw bales from here to there.

I dropped Drennan off and left, and suddenly the tears erupted. Leonard's job was baling hay. At the visitation in South Dakota, I had a long talk with a man named Vince who had baled with Leonard just the week before. Vince was a fatherly type with six children in their teens and twenties, and he told how Leonard had seemed very preoccupied that last week. One evening he and Leonard got out to the field but it was still too dry to start working. I guess they always bale at night, because the dew makes the alfalfa less brittle. So Vince and Leonard lay on their backs in the field and watched the stars and waited for the dew to fall. Vince was debating about asking Leonard if something was wrong, but just then Leonard said, "Well, time to get to work." Vince decided Leonard was just tired, as they all were, and didn't pursue the subject.

This is one of a hundred scenes you wish you could rewind and edit and replay, this time with Vince insisting on figuring out what was wrong. But it's done. But I must say, this is a precious picture of Leonard to have in my mind: lying on his back in an alfalfa field, watching the stars, waiting for the dew to fall.

A Great Marriage

Last night a young man asked me what makes a great marriage and if I have one.

This is one of those things that you don't think much about, if you're like me. You know it if you see it, and you miss it if you don't have it, but to actually sit down and evaluate and define...well, I'm too busy to do much of that.

I said, without thinking it through, that a great marriage depends on the little things. I think the questioner wanted something more profound than that, but after thinking it through a bit more I have the same opinion.

Unless our selection monitors (as Dr. Laura calls them) are really bad, we take care of the big issues before we get married, and so end up at the altar with someone who is in the same league as us regarding faith, children, money, morals, goals, church, and values.

From then on, it's the little things that make a marriage great, medium, or bad. Does she say whatever pops into her mind without filtering it? Does he ignore her? Do they study each other's love languages and act accordingly? Does she respect him? Does he ever surprise her?

So do we have a great marriage? Well, as Amy says:

Quote of the Day:
"You have a great marriage until the dog gets lost."

MWR Article

Here's the Mennonite Weekly Review article I mentioned a few posts ago.

Quote of the Day:
"Perhaps with the help of your link on your blog, our story on you is now the top hit-getter for the month so far on our site, even outpacing Floyd and his shenanigans. Not bad considering your story has only been online a day or two."
--Robert Rhodes, editor of MWR. (Thanks, everyone who clicked on the link)

Zoo Shots

Here are a few pictures from our trip to the zoo in April that I filed and never used. That's Emily imitating the statue, Ben, Steven, and Jenny snuggling up to the bear, and Amy measuring her wingspan.