Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Stewing vs. Spouting

Would you believe after nearly 21 years of marriage I'm still learning stuff?

Like: how I handle anger. I grew up in a family of stewers and am great at it. Paul does something that really annoys me and the windows close, the doors slam, the shutters unfold, the portcullis drops, the bridge lifts, the moat freezes over, and I huddle inside for three days nursing my wounds.

Paul is a spouter who grew up in a family of people who spoke their minds. Not that he gets angry often, but if he does it's like blowing bubble gum--a quick red swelling and then -Pop!- it's over.

Anyway, after all these years I am learning to spout. What an amazing thought that it might be ok to just say so when I'm upset. I mean, to just stand there and say the words.

And how amazing to learn that even though spouting feels sinful to me, it may well be far less sinful than stewing. And Paul would much rather I spout than stew.

You never stop learning, I guess.

Quote of the Day:
"Having a deodorant war."
--Ben, after wild pandemonium ensued upstairs and I asked WHAT he and Steven were doing


  1. Well Dorcas, I will have to admit that I'm a spouter. I have often wished that I was a stewer instead...but when I decide that I am going to stew instead of spout...5 minutes later, I tend to forget what I'm supposed to be stewing about. My natural response is definently spouting!

  2. I'm both--:) Don't know if thats good or bad--I tend to hold everything in until something or someone crosses my path wrong and that poor soul gets all the bottled up whatever happens to be inside--I must say that w/ my dear friends--I have been able to unload some of my "small" grievances so my explosions don't happen as often or as "explosive"

  3. Definitely a spouter!- Mrs darling

  4. i think that i'm probably some of both. i usually stew until i'm with my close friends or with someone who will agree with me and then i spout.:)

  5. I can vouch for Mrs.Darling--definetly a spouter!!!!LOL

  6. Well, I am definitely a stewer. I think my husband wishes I would spout more. Then he wouldn't have to get out the ice pick and pick it out of me!

  7. What about those who neither stew or spout. Instead of spouting when the emotion arrives, or stewing until their point is made, they pick a good time to discuss the difficulty.

  8. To anonymous--Those people are to be admired.