Monday, July 02, 2007

One Year

Today it's a year that my nephew Leonard took his own life.

"There are no more answers than there were a year ago," his parents, Marcus and Anna, tell me.

And yet they also testify to God's presence. "It isn't just a cliche that God is really there with you. It's true," Marcus says.

This has been one of many lessons for me: the pain and the grace do not cancel each other out; Both are present in full measure.

In Minnesota, a small group of friends and family is gathering to unveil the grave stone and to release balloons with personal notes attached.

My SIL Geneva and I endured that week together last year, the hardest and horriblest of my life. We both feel pulled toward Minnesota today, but of course can't go, so we're getting together at a park in Salem. Not to stir up the depths so much as to just be together because we need each other today.

Life has moved on for me in many ways. I am able to live in the moment and make decisions and enjoy people.

But I miss him, and it still hurts, and I am still learning to make peace with all the unanswered questions, and I still wince when I see someone in black jeans and a Western shirt and cowboy boots.

Quote of the Day:
"We love you, and we're praying for you."
--what my brother says is the best thing to say to a grieving family, and maybe even the only thing


  1. {{{gentle hugs}}} & prayers for you and your family

  2. It's just not fair, is it?

  3. In reference to the quote from your brother ... he's so very right. Most of the things people say end up hurting or they're just annoying to hear at that particular time. People mean well - at least most of them do. But still, it's one time that lots of words really aren't necessary ... or helpful.

    I'm sorry you are unable to be with everyone else at this time. I'm finding the "anniversaries" to be very difficult. Blessings to you.

  4. Thanks for sharing about the pain and the grace not canceling one another out. I hope your time together in Salem was meaningful.

  5. Praying for you and your family.

  6. Thanks to you all.
    Yes, Deanna, it was good to be with Geneva in Salem. Fun and therapeutic.