Thursday, January 15, 2009

What Say You?

Well, if Emily is moving out of state, I really should give her my serger [that's as old as she is] and get a newer one for myself, shouldn't I? Makes sense to me.

So I have been on Craigslist. And I didn't find much for sergers but I found this:

Ok, I am gettingno help from do you come up with ideas on conversations, I would like to be able to carry on an actually conversation with people, also, how do you get over maybe the feelings you had in high school (how do you keep them from coming back?) feeling insecure, quiet, knowing that you are worth something? I want to exuce confidence, and want people to be around me. You know like really like you not just be a person you know. I am at a loss. I welcome ur advice please. Thanks!

I wondered what all my wise readers would advise this person--I'll call her Kathy--so I emailed her and got permission to quote her. And she responded with an expanded version:

Hi, I want to start the new year off great and stick with it. A new year a better me? So, I had a bad break up a year and a half ago, and while I am still not currently dating, I am ok with that, and made peace with the crappy ex. What I need to do is break bad habits where I do not follow through with friends, or I end up either wanting to be around people, or I hole myself up. Any ideas on how to get past such a stage and be more consistent? How to not thinking negatively, make an effort, and not have such bad peaks and valleys? To take work for what it is, not take people there not talking to me personally, but how to make an effort to talk to everyone to be cordial? If any of this makes sense? and, to let go of not being everyones friend, be myself, and know it is ok, if I am still not friends with everyone from school? I hope someone understands this babbling. and offers some tidbits. Thanks for reading! How do you :
reassimilate yourself with friends again, when you have shyed away from them for awhile?
get back up there and try to pick your life up
not get upset if people do not want to be ur friend on myspace or facebook, or if they remove you from their friends, or when people do not comment or call you back.
these are things I wonder and I am not sure how other deal or if people even car about this stuff?

I think the first thing I would tell Kathy is that readers of LITS are a caring bunch and we are rooting for her even if we don't know her.

(She'll be reading this, just so you know.)

Quote of the Day:
Steven: What's this stuff?
Me: Sage. Like I put in the stuffing, and it actually comes from. . .
Steven: The ice age?


  1. In my experience (only 68 yrs so far),if you want to be liked by others, you must like YOURSELF first. If YOU don't like YOU, others can pick up on that. If you are comfortable with who you are you will be less likely to obsess over the things that Kathy appears to be concerned about. This may sound over simplified, but it is a place to start.

  2. At the risk of sounding harsh, I would advise not talking about her insecurities to people she's just trying to get to know. A key tenet of my Southern upbringing is that it's unattractive to talk about being unattractive (physically or otherwise). Good luck, Kathy! Lots of people have been where you are.

  3. I can identify with where you are, I have felt and struggled often with many similar insecurities. And my ability to lay them to rest and live peacefully and joyfully despite my ups and downs has come from one place alone, and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour. I know that is not necessarily a popular answer or one that people want to hear, but since you asked, I suppose you can handle it and as we all are, you are free to take it or leave it. I just want to encourage you...if you are willing to cast all your cares upon Him, He WILL care for you. Its tried and true!

  4. from one person dealing with a breakup to another--the only way to get through it, is to realize the unconditional love and acceptance of someone greater than the person you lost--and the only person who fits that description is Jesus Christ, because everyone has their faults, and everyone will fail you at some point, except Him.

  5. Kathy you spoke for alot of us. We all face those human insecurities. You though, are going to be able to overcome them because you can clearly recognize your weaknesses, thats more then half the battle. Now, when you are doing for others, focusing on the doing it will be amazing how those nagging little insecurities will diminsh. Exercise your servant's heart.Also know that you are not alone and what the others stated about a need and an acceptance of HIM will fill that hole in your heart. Also if he was such a jerk, get on your knees and thank the Lord that ex is no longer in your life. Keep us posted Kathy because I needed to hear you and what I wrote also. Blessings!